God is such a mystery to me. i go through periods of doubt and lots of questions and they push me away from Him. but eventually i go back to Him. and i can't explain it, of course i don't expect that i should. but i read His word and it affects me. there's always this "pull" to know more, to understand better. looking at doctrine, especially calvinism, i came up with lots of questions but i didn't pray for the answers to them. i looked for them in the Word, but i didn't really talk to Him about them. i actually got upset and it just made me question more. this is not a knock on that doctrine, just a statement on what little i looked into caused me to feel this way. is it me? is it something in me that says i'm not sure i agree with that? i think i'd struggle with things i find in the arminian doctrine also. who knows?? i stopped carrying and reading my bible on the train. my bag was feeling heavy and truthfully it does add weight when you factor in my laptop and lunch and other things i carry. but i grabbed it when i came in today, cuz i wanna read it again. hoping it'll help me have a better understanding of God. i think my perception of Him is off, that's the best way i can say it. but who does have the complete and correct view of Him?
anyway, i'm finding myself surrounded more and more by people who have some kind of relationship with the Lord and are wanting to have a better one. it's kinda weird, and i noticed it last night when i took stock of the conversations i'm having at work lately. one guy in particular caught me by surprise. me and another co-worker where talking about whether or not the Sabbath should be kept. actually i just made that statement that that is sometimes a debate-able topic for some people, and of course we kinda started debating over it. well the other person joins in and has some good stuff to add to the conversation in general. and we've talked since and it seems his heart is sincere cuz he talked about wanting his family to get saved too. he also talked about wanting to live a more obedient life and some of the struggles he's been having lately. another thing that came up was the need for a community of christians to help you and build you up in your walk. and i volunteered to try and help lift him up and told him we could try to build together!! whoa...where did that come from?? not my normal m.o. we'll see how things go. i told him that there are other christians i've come across in my "travels" through our work place and that some of us encourage each other.
He's a mystery. i'm still struggling in this walk, and i'm more willing to talk about my faith than ever before. i still have questions and push back alot, but i'm still hungry for Him. i try not to use terms that are common in Christendom but hungry is the best way to describe it right now. He is irresistable but in a subtle way, at least with me. i'm starting to babble now. just wanted to "write" my thoughts while i had the time and the urge.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
A Stubborn Little Lamb
A Stubborn Little Lamb
Tuesday, November 7, 2006 by Anabel Gillham
As for God, His way is blameless.
Psalm 18:30
For the Lord your God is a compassionate God.
Deuteronomy 4:31
Whom He foreknew, He also predestined
to become conformed to the image of His Son.
Romans 8:29
I am confident of this very thing, that
He who began a good work in you will
perfect it.
Philippians 1:6
"Cmon, Buttons, you can do it! Jump! Hey, you're supposed to go over the poles,not try to knock them down with your head! Jump! Please jump!"
Sherrie watched as the lamb tried every way to get around or under the hurdle rather than to jump over it. He was dirty and completely exhausted, and she was dirty and completely exhausted.
It was only three months until the first competition, and this stubborn Buttons adamantly refused to do what she knew must be done in order to win. She picked him up and put him over the barricade. She guided him through her legs and arms, making a tunnel that would be his only way to go. No success. She was dealing with an obstinate, stupid, rebellious little sheep.
This wasn't the first time Sherrie had entered a lamb in the livestock show, but it was the first time she had experienced such difficulty in training an animal that was bent on bucking someone so much bigger and smarter than he was. And she wasn't doing anything that would hurt him . . . only what it would take to make him into a prizewinning sheep.
Sherrie had tried everything to get him to go through this simple routine that was needed to strengthen his hindquarters. It was an important point in the judging, so she was obviously going to have to take more drastic measures. She had put his food on the other side of the hurdle and the silly little lamb still balked. In fact, he nearly wore himself out trying to get under the hurdle.
What to do? "Well, Ill just put in more barriers to where he can't possibly get under the barricade or go around it. He will have to go over it! Why he's so determined to go against what I have planned for him, and where he got it into his little brain that I'm trying to hurt him or that I'm doing something that will ruin his life, is beyond me."
All of us like sheep have gone astray,
Each of us has turned to his own way.
Isaiah 53:6
Hmmmmm. I think I understand a little better now why were sometimes compared to sheep in Your Word.
My head is throbbing from trying to knock my problems out of the way. I'm weary. Exhausted. Bewildered. And why am I so determined that what You allow to come into my life is meant to hurt me or to wreck my plans, when Your only purpose is to make me into a prizewinning sheep?
Im sorry, Lord. Thank You for working so hard with me. And I'm very thankful to know that You aren't going to give up on me.
My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.
John 10:27
Come to think of it, You're the only One who knows the date of the competition. Maybe You're working overtime on some of us?
hmmmm....that's me right now....
from today's devotional at life time guarantee
Tuesday, November 7, 2006 by Anabel Gillham
As for God, His way is blameless.
Psalm 18:30
For the Lord your God is a compassionate God.
Deuteronomy 4:31
Whom He foreknew, He also predestined
to become conformed to the image of His Son.
Romans 8:29
I am confident of this very thing, that
He who began a good work in you will
perfect it.
Philippians 1:6
"Cmon, Buttons, you can do it! Jump! Hey, you're supposed to go over the poles,not try to knock them down with your head! Jump! Please jump!"
Sherrie watched as the lamb tried every way to get around or under the hurdle rather than to jump over it. He was dirty and completely exhausted, and she was dirty and completely exhausted.
It was only three months until the first competition, and this stubborn Buttons adamantly refused to do what she knew must be done in order to win. She picked him up and put him over the barricade. She guided him through her legs and arms, making a tunnel that would be his only way to go. No success. She was dealing with an obstinate, stupid, rebellious little sheep.
This wasn't the first time Sherrie had entered a lamb in the livestock show, but it was the first time she had experienced such difficulty in training an animal that was bent on bucking someone so much bigger and smarter than he was. And she wasn't doing anything that would hurt him . . . only what it would take to make him into a prizewinning sheep.
Sherrie had tried everything to get him to go through this simple routine that was needed to strengthen his hindquarters. It was an important point in the judging, so she was obviously going to have to take more drastic measures. She had put his food on the other side of the hurdle and the silly little lamb still balked. In fact, he nearly wore himself out trying to get under the hurdle.
What to do? "Well, Ill just put in more barriers to where he can't possibly get under the barricade or go around it. He will have to go over it! Why he's so determined to go against what I have planned for him, and where he got it into his little brain that I'm trying to hurt him or that I'm doing something that will ruin his life, is beyond me."
All of us like sheep have gone astray,
Each of us has turned to his own way.
Isaiah 53:6
Hmmmmm. I think I understand a little better now why were sometimes compared to sheep in Your Word.
My head is throbbing from trying to knock my problems out of the way. I'm weary. Exhausted. Bewildered. And why am I so determined that what You allow to come into my life is meant to hurt me or to wreck my plans, when Your only purpose is to make me into a prizewinning sheep?
Im sorry, Lord. Thank You for working so hard with me. And I'm very thankful to know that You aren't going to give up on me.
My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.
John 10:27
Come to think of it, You're the only One who knows the date of the competition. Maybe You're working overtime on some of us?
hmmmm....that's me right now....
from today's devotional at life time guarantee
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