Friday, November 30, 2007

Life Time Garauntee

i don't know if i've said this before, but i love this site. it seems like the devotionals are written just for me sometimes. today's was about letting go of our burdens and letting God handle them. something i struggle with. for me, it was just an encouraging read.

i've been having a difficult time this week. it's been hard to stay focused, i've been kinda forgetful or more like scattered brained. my wife says it's pregnancy brain and i believe her cause i just have not been myself. with the new baby coming i think there's been some underlying anxiety that i wasn't aware of. i haven't been relying on the Lord to carry me through in alot of areas in my life and i'm realizing it more and more. obviously it's a control issue. but i'm not a control freak, so i think again, it's a matter of a lack of trust on my part. i've been questioning myself on that latelly too. one part of me says "of course you trust the Lord", and the other side is saying, "you can handle it", when really, i can't. i don't talk to God enough either. we are to pray unceassingly, and it's a weakness of mine. i believe part of that is due to the fact that i know deep in my heart that that much commnication with the Lord will bring conviction on areas that i still need to work on. pray for me as i try to work on improving in that area, trusting the Lord to take care of me.

i have some other thoughts, but i'll post them under a different subject. anyway, i really like that site's devotionals, they speak to my heart and alot of times, meet me right where i'm at.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

stress

i think i'm stressed. so much going on. new baby on the way. that alone is mind blowing, it's almost like it's not real. jr. is in a very patience testing stage. my wife has been very uncomfortable since week 4 of the pregnancy. i'm buggin about how out of shape i am. my mind is telling me that i could be in the gym more. there's been enough opportunity too. but energy is low...must reserve...2 yr old....strong. lol. man....what a challenge!! he's not bad, but he's strong willed and stubborn, and has an amazing amount of energy.

and then there's my walk. it's a never ending battle. i need to put on more armor! ha! just thought of that. but it's tough, and i'm trying to persevere. i started my day off with prayer today. went to play ball and didn't turn the music on for about half the ride and prayed. starting the day off in a short amount of silence is good. i'm always on, and it gets harder and harder to slow my roll sometimes. it's usually done out of exhaustion.

anyway, mix all of that and more together and there's a nice good sized stress ball. but i'm not feeling so stressed now, just reflecting on how i've been feeling for awhile now.

man, i hope getting back in the gym will relieve some of that. obviously starting the day off in prayer is the best though. duh. :-)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

as real as it gets

i'm lovin this song right now. well it'll probably always be a favorite. great lyrics and i feel this song everytime i hear it. it's from the Process of Illumination and Elimination by Everyday Process:

Christian this is real as it gets
your faith is strengthened daily so endure the test
renewing the mind of Christ to resist the flesh
with a will to live peculiar despite the rest
at the cross we find grace the blood of Christ defines
who we are as righteous men among sinful kind
believer we cross the line it’s but a few times
a just man get’s up with the right mind.



I’ve said this before won’t do it any more
I’m frontin’ with the world and my life is really yours
man it hurts like dancing on corns the walk is sore
flesh is in control but I claimed you as Lord
Philippians 4:13 through Christ I’ve got it beaten
it seems now of days the only strength I got is leaving
turned from your way when your face I should be seeking
deny you at times like Peter heart aches I'm reaching
out because I have to no doubt I need to
realizing sin breaks the vibe with you forgive me for the dirt I do
thank you for being snatched from wrath
deliver me oh God from my haunting past
it wants to take over my body like an allergic rash
I’m bout to blow up like a smoker soaked in gas
I’ve tried the praying daily and a week long fast
I avoid a way of escape I know I’m hurting you Dad
tired of dealing with the same sin but it’s amazing
how ya grace is sufficient and never changing
a safe haven
a dwelling place provided in you when my minds raging
as the flesh keeps chasing
everything and anything unlike you Lord ya patient
your strength’s made perfect in weakness regardless of weak men
ya spirit sustains men ‘til the day of redemption.

Ay yo I know what the Word say
But I’m fessin’ up. I’m messin’ up livin’ the world’s way
And I know sin can’t control me or hold me
But I’m having difficulty livin’ holy
And that’s real. ‘Bout as real as it’s gonna get.
Sometimes, man I feel like I just wanna quit
And to add insult to injury
I’m tryin’ to fight my flesh and plus resist the enemy
And dying to self is harder than I thought
I faced even more temptation the harder that I fought
I’m learning to live this Christian life on my knees
You dead wrong if you think the Christian life is a breeze
But I know I got the victory
Cuz I repented when the comforter came and convicted me
God is into
Conforming us to His Son’s image. Until He finishes, the saga continues


Have mercy oh Lord I feel the heat
although the spirit is willing my physique is weak
please fill the void and restore my faith
bring back the joy of me seeking your face
I purposed in my heart to serve and trust you
walk upright live truth obey you
but the more I try it seems the harder I fall
in a race of endurance man I tend to stall
Christian this is as real as it gets
ya faith is strengthened daily so daily strive to carry
out the plan of God ordained for us
before the world was framed he arranged for us
to go thru knowing your outcome
as you go thru out comes everything that’s unlike Him
in salvation you a work in progress
he will finish what he starts endure the process
Ephesians chapter 2 you made alive in Christ
in this chapter of life you’re positioned right
you know a distinguished life don’t relinquish light
when your spirit gets weak man trust his might
tell a friend if you’re anchored right
you'll be encouraged walk upright live as the bride of Christ
God’s grace is sufficient live in submission
His spirit sustains men till the day of redemption


Christian this is real as it gets
your faith is strengthened daily so endure the test
renewing the mind of Christ to resist the flesh
with a will to live peculiar despite the rest
at the cross we find grace the blood of Christ defines
who we are as righteous men among sinful kind
believer we cross the line it’s but a few times
a just man get’s up with the right mind.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

a good day

it's been a good day. got up and played bball this morning. my knee was bothering me during the week for no apparent reason. my wife thinks it's wear and tear and the weather. i started off kinda shaky the first two games but played well the last two games.

i came home and had breakfast with the family, then we let jr. around outside for a while. we came in and put the crib together and moved the dresser/changing table up to the boys room. jr. is also sleeping in his "big boy" bed now and we have our bed to ourselves. that's good cuz the wife is 7 months now and is expanding, lol.
he still wakes up during the early morning hours, but overall he's been doing well.

they're up taking a nap, and i'm getting some quiet time. aaahhh!! i guess we'll eat dinner a little after they get up, clean up and put him to bed not long after. the little man hasn't been too testy today. a little challenging but he kept it together for the most part. i say that with the biggest smile because he is such a character!!

the last few days have been trying, spiritually speaking, but i've been trying to keep my head in the Word. my verse for the week has been "So I say, live by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature". ~ Gal. 5:17.
the words, "you will not" stood out to me. He doesn't say, you might not, but you will not, a definitive statement. so i decided to memorize just that verse, and focus on the fact that if i live by the Spirit and learn what it means to live by the Spirit, i will not gratify those desires. it's still not easy, but i've been trying to stand on that verse alone when i'm tempted. my plan is to memorize the verses that follow possibly verse by verse to let as much as i can soak in. its a thought.

well, the little man and mom are up now so i'm gonna sign off and hang out with them.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

habits

i'm a creature of habit. i've come to realize that recently, or i've just gotten to be that way over the years. being that way has it's pros and cons. some pros are that i always know where things are. for example, i have a basket where i put my cell, wallet, pager, watch, cash and loose change. my keys always get hung up on the key hooks by the door. i got the basket cuz i was tired of looking for those things when i had to go out or was leaving for work in the morning. if something is not where it's supposed to be, it makes it easier for me to retrace my steps and find it, because i have an easier time remembering what i did different from the normal routine. that alone, relieves some stress. the one major con is if i do something majorly different than the norm, i might not be able to find my keys or phone and i'll have no idea what i did with them the day before. of course i'll only realize this as i'm about to walk out the door.



sometimes, the sins that i'm so frustrated with are done out of habit. i hate that. the flesh is such a monster, and the more you feed it, the bigger it gets. i think i have a much better understanding of what the scriptures meant when we're told not to give the devil a foothold (ephesians 4:27). when you allow a sin to become habitual, you've given him that foothold. one definition for foothold is "A firm or secure position that provides a base for further advancement." further advancement in the believers case, pushes him/her further away from God, and that's what the devil wants. it'll be awhile before i get it, but i'm slowly learning that i have to form other habits to combat the sin in my life so it becomes less and less habitual. i'm still trying to do too much on my own, need to place my confidence in the Lord and follow the precepts He laid out to resist temptation. i'm hating my flesh more and more and i find myself thinking that more and more. my bros and sisters in the faith tell me that's a good thing. hopefully i'll be able to learn how to die to myself daily. that's a theme in alot of music that i listen to and sometimes the concept seems so foreign to me. well not foreign, but like alot of work LOL. whew!! but the reward is worth the work right? i know that that closer i get to the Lord, things that are not pleasing to Him will become less and less desirable and the more i rely on Him for my strength in the battle against the flesh, hopefully it'll feel like less work.


Wednesday, November 07, 2007

My Prayer

(taken from part of Lifetime Gaurantee's devotional for today, these words express my thoughts and prayers... )

Lord, I long to know You better. I realize that this deep desire will be fulfilled as I spend time with just You. That doesn't mean having my Bible open in front of me at all times. It means being together, talking, laughing, crying, observing, walking leisurely holding hands. I don't want to read my Bible to meet the goal of "reading through the Bible this year;" I don't want to spend hours to impress others with my Bible knowledge; I don't want to have a disciplined time of study so I can check it off as an accomplished goal. No. I want to spend time with You because I want to know You and all Your intricacies. You have very painstakingly told me all about Yourself in Your Word, having others record Your innermost thoughts and Your visions. I read what they have recorded and then You and I talk about it-sitting out in the swing, working on the lawn, washing the dishes. We simply talk. We spend time together. You know me. I want to know You. I love you, Lord.
The Lord says: Let not the wise man bask in his wisdom, nor the mighty man in his might, nor the rich man in his riches. Let them boast in this alone: That they truly know Me . . . . Jeremiah 9:23