awhile back i had talked about meeting with my pastor on a regular basis because i was looking to have a deeper relationship with the Lord. well my pastor recently discovered that he has some serious heart issues that needed to be taken care of so i'm not sure when/if we'll be getting together at that level. he has had to slow down some of his activity for now.
we finished up on our group bible study, the Sacred Romance series and we've started a new study. i'm not quite sure what this study is about, although i've seen what one of the group leaders had in mind. i haven't made it to the study, due to the new baby and all the changes that it's brought.
our church as whole, well some of us, have started on reading the bible in a year. a few different plans have been handed out and me and the wife are doing the same one. the reading was going well, right up till we had the baby. it was cool, cuz me and my wife would at random times talk about the reading we'd done and things we were surprised at or noticed for the first time or things we just didn't know. i was behind in my reading and she was possibly ahead, but we both have some catching up to do now.
the bible reading was really bring up alot of questions for me. time is limiting me to get into an example of the questions right now, hopefully i'll be able to post some of my thoughts. the reading format is about a chapter from the old testament starting in genesis a chapter from the new testament starting in matthew. then we read a few verses from the psalms and proverbs. i really like the format. man...the old testament is a trip, just genesis alone!! i've read it before, but as always you see something new each time. but i do like the format.
as always, it seems like the harder you try to get closer to God, the harder the enemy tries to prevent you. i recently had a HUGE temptation for me come my way, and i fell. i've been fighting depression from falling to this temptation. it's that great of a weight. on my way in to work this morning, the song posted below came on, (more and more i believe God creates a playlist for me). the thing that stood out the most is that today is a brand new day. i can't dwell on yesterday, His mercy is new every day! sorry, i have to cut it short, but peep the lyrics below. i'll be back to continue my thoughts on this post if necessary.
the analogy is a shot clock in basketball and one's day in life.
1st verse
Yes Sir/ Yeah Sis/ if you can hear through Hip-hop than hear this/Here it is fresh off the presses/ here to lift souls and clear all depression/Cuz I know what it’s like when the sun is all shining but your soul feels night/Feels like you’re caught under gloom’s dark presence/ with a little light shining like the moons sharp crescent/ How many days gone by/ when I said I was gonna win and I ain’t even try/I wake up at half court the day is half gone and time left on the board is madd short/Rushing my shot/ I hurry out the door/ I don’t pray I don’t take my worries to the Lord/How much time does it take to run the floor get the stop watch or maybe I should stop and watch the Lord/ Everyday is a new 24 on the shot clock either get your shot blocked or score
Chorus
Brand new day/With each new day that’s dawnin’ /Every time night turns to morning/Grace is new, Mercy is new, what you gone do with it/ If life is a game you can never play in again/ would you stay in your sin or start trainin’ aimin’ to win?
2nd verse
I’m so down in points at this point I’ll take brownie points/Especially with the people I love I wish I could win or at least take the lead by a hug/Sometimes when I’m leavin’ I shrug hoping they feel me like really E.Q.’d up subs/ I hope they see that I’m doing a good thing/ that’s the reason I’m not around as much as I could be/And when I’m around I’m often drained but I don’t want relationships getting lost and strained/ I’m always telling myself/ don’t have your lights out/ be a lighthouse for someone else/I could do more before I hit the floor let me cop a squat/ put in some quality time for sure/Everyday is a new 24 on the shot clock either get your shot blocked or score
Chorus
3rd verse
I love the way the Lord taught the church/ He had a simple game plan when He walked on earth/ a balance between doing/ and being with the people He loved/ and spending time with the father above/ if I could master the art of the latter part/ I could keep from always having to march back to start/ there’s so many things to do/ and this brings me to my chief need which is to cling to you/ Maslow’s hierarchy listed the priority of the order of the things that we need and I guess it varies/ from the need to feed and to find love and to seek to succeed but he missed the one thing that's necessary/ the Lord’s standing at the door of your heart knocking unlock it watch He’s got a lot in store/ today is a new 24 on your shot clock will you get your shot blocked or score
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Monday, February 04, 2008
wow...it's been awhile
where to start? so much has been going. we had the baby on jan 14. he was 8lbs 13 ounces 21 inches long. he is beautiful and we feel very blessed to have a second child. his name is aaron elijah.
as most newborns do, he has been taking up most of our time and energy. my 1st son has enough energy for 2 kids, so it has been a challenge to say the least. my wife is worn out and we're both exhausted. we don't have any family around so it's just us. we do have good relationships with two of our neighbors, so they help, but it's not the same as having family.
my 1st son has been doing very well with his new little brother and has been very sweet to him, kissing him and hugging him. trying to comfort him when he cries, but he's almost 3 and is used to being the center of attention. i think he's starting to feel a little differently now that he sees that is little brother needs alot of attention and it sometimes means he will have to wait to get what he wants. its tough. he's also the kinda kid that has tons of energy and needs to be re-directed alot. he's strong willed, which isn't a bad thing, but needs direction as most 3yrs olds do.
between him and my newborn, we're exhausted. last week i got 7 hours of sleep in a 3 day period. i'm still at work, i only got the first week off, haven't been at this job long enough to get maternity leave. so my wife has both of them for the majority of the day, then i come home and help out. fortunately, i have tons of experience with my 1st so that helped with me knowing what to do when it comes to feeding him, changing diapers, all that good stuff.
i'm at work now, and it's the only time i can sit and blog right now. way too much going on at home. i'll be back with an update on how things have been going spiritually and any other updates i can think of.
as most newborns do, he has been taking up most of our time and energy. my 1st son has enough energy for 2 kids, so it has been a challenge to say the least. my wife is worn out and we're both exhausted. we don't have any family around so it's just us. we do have good relationships with two of our neighbors, so they help, but it's not the same as having family.
my 1st son has been doing very well with his new little brother and has been very sweet to him, kissing him and hugging him. trying to comfort him when he cries, but he's almost 3 and is used to being the center of attention. i think he's starting to feel a little differently now that he sees that is little brother needs alot of attention and it sometimes means he will have to wait to get what he wants. its tough. he's also the kinda kid that has tons of energy and needs to be re-directed alot. he's strong willed, which isn't a bad thing, but needs direction as most 3yrs olds do.
between him and my newborn, we're exhausted. last week i got 7 hours of sleep in a 3 day period. i'm still at work, i only got the first week off, haven't been at this job long enough to get maternity leave. so my wife has both of them for the majority of the day, then i come home and help out. fortunately, i have tons of experience with my 1st so that helped with me knowing what to do when it comes to feeding him, changing diapers, all that good stuff.
i'm at work now, and it's the only time i can sit and blog right now. way too much going on at home. i'll be back with an update on how things have been going spiritually and any other updates i can think of.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Life Time Garauntee
i don't know if i've said this before, but i love this site. it seems like the devotionals are written just for me sometimes. today's was about letting go of our burdens and letting God handle them. something i struggle with. for me, it was just an encouraging read.
i've been having a difficult time this week. it's been hard to stay focused, i've been kinda forgetful or more like scattered brained. my wife says it's pregnancy brain and i believe her cause i just have not been myself. with the new baby coming i think there's been some underlying anxiety that i wasn't aware of. i haven't been relying on the Lord to carry me through in alot of areas in my life and i'm realizing it more and more. obviously it's a control issue. but i'm not a control freak, so i think again, it's a matter of a lack of trust on my part. i've been questioning myself on that latelly too. one part of me says "of course you trust the Lord", and the other side is saying, "you can handle it", when really, i can't. i don't talk to God enough either. we are to pray unceassingly, and it's a weakness of mine. i believe part of that is due to the fact that i know deep in my heart that that much commnication with the Lord will bring conviction on areas that i still need to work on. pray for me as i try to work on improving in that area, trusting the Lord to take care of me.
i have some other thoughts, but i'll post them under a different subject. anyway, i really like that site's devotionals, they speak to my heart and alot of times, meet me right where i'm at.
i've been having a difficult time this week. it's been hard to stay focused, i've been kinda forgetful or more like scattered brained. my wife says it's pregnancy brain and i believe her cause i just have not been myself. with the new baby coming i think there's been some underlying anxiety that i wasn't aware of. i haven't been relying on the Lord to carry me through in alot of areas in my life and i'm realizing it more and more. obviously it's a control issue. but i'm not a control freak, so i think again, it's a matter of a lack of trust on my part. i've been questioning myself on that latelly too. one part of me says "of course you trust the Lord", and the other side is saying, "you can handle it", when really, i can't. i don't talk to God enough either. we are to pray unceassingly, and it's a weakness of mine. i believe part of that is due to the fact that i know deep in my heart that that much commnication with the Lord will bring conviction on areas that i still need to work on. pray for me as i try to work on improving in that area, trusting the Lord to take care of me.
i have some other thoughts, but i'll post them under a different subject. anyway, i really like that site's devotionals, they speak to my heart and alot of times, meet me right where i'm at.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
stress
i think i'm stressed. so much going on. new baby on the way. that alone is mind blowing, it's almost like it's not real. jr. is in a very patience testing stage. my wife has been very uncomfortable since week 4 of the pregnancy. i'm buggin about how out of shape i am. my mind is telling me that i could be in the gym more. there's been enough opportunity too. but energy is low...must reserve...2 yr old....strong. lol. man....what a challenge!! he's not bad, but he's strong willed and stubborn, and has an amazing amount of energy.
and then there's my walk. it's a never ending battle. i need to put on more armor! ha! just thought of that. but it's tough, and i'm trying to persevere. i started my day off with prayer today. went to play ball and didn't turn the music on for about half the ride and prayed. starting the day off in a short amount of silence is good. i'm always on, and it gets harder and harder to slow my roll sometimes. it's usually done out of exhaustion.
anyway, mix all of that and more together and there's a nice good sized stress ball. but i'm not feeling so stressed now, just reflecting on how i've been feeling for awhile now.
man, i hope getting back in the gym will relieve some of that. obviously starting the day off in prayer is the best though. duh. :-)
and then there's my walk. it's a never ending battle. i need to put on more armor! ha! just thought of that. but it's tough, and i'm trying to persevere. i started my day off with prayer today. went to play ball and didn't turn the music on for about half the ride and prayed. starting the day off in a short amount of silence is good. i'm always on, and it gets harder and harder to slow my roll sometimes. it's usually done out of exhaustion.
anyway, mix all of that and more together and there's a nice good sized stress ball. but i'm not feeling so stressed now, just reflecting on how i've been feeling for awhile now.
man, i hope getting back in the gym will relieve some of that. obviously starting the day off in prayer is the best though. duh. :-)
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
as real as it gets
i'm lovin this song right now. well it'll probably always be a favorite. great lyrics and i feel this song everytime i hear it. it's from the Process of Illumination and Elimination by Everyday Process:
Christian this is real as it gets
your faith is strengthened daily so endure the test
renewing the mind of Christ to resist the flesh
with a will to live peculiar despite the rest
at the cross we find grace the blood of Christ defines
who we are as righteous men among sinful kind
believer we cross the line it’s but a few times
a just man get’s up with the right mind.
I’ve said this before won’t do it any more
I’m frontin’ with the world and my life is really yours
man it hurts like dancing on corns the walk is sore
flesh is in control but I claimed you as Lord
Philippians 4:13 through Christ I’ve got it beaten
it seems now of days the only strength I got is leaving
turned from your way when your face I should be seeking
deny you at times like Peter heart aches I'm reaching
out because I have to no doubt I need to
realizing sin breaks the vibe with you forgive me for the dirt I do
thank you for being snatched from wrath
deliver me oh God from my haunting past
it wants to take over my body like an allergic rash
I’m bout to blow up like a smoker soaked in gas
I’ve tried the praying daily and a week long fast
I avoid a way of escape I know I’m hurting you Dad
tired of dealing with the same sin but it’s amazing
how ya grace is sufficient and never changing
a safe haven
a dwelling place provided in you when my minds raging
as the flesh keeps chasing
everything and anything unlike you Lord ya patient
your strength’s made perfect in weakness regardless of weak men
ya spirit sustains men ‘til the day of redemption.
Ay yo I know what the Word say
But I’m fessin’ up. I’m messin’ up livin’ the world’s way
And I know sin can’t control me or hold me
But I’m having difficulty livin’ holy
And that’s real. ‘Bout as real as it’s gonna get.
Sometimes, man I feel like I just wanna quit
And to add insult to injury
I’m tryin’ to fight my flesh and plus resist the enemy
And dying to self is harder than I thought
I faced even more temptation the harder that I fought
I’m learning to live this Christian life on my knees
You dead wrong if you think the Christian life is a breeze
But I know I got the victory
Cuz I repented when the comforter came and convicted me
God is into
Conforming us to His Son’s image. Until He finishes, the saga continues
Christian this is real as it gets
your faith is strengthened daily so endure the test
renewing the mind of Christ to resist the flesh
with a will to live peculiar despite the rest
at the cross we find grace the blood of Christ defines
who we are as righteous men among sinful kind
believer we cross the line it’s but a few times
a just man get’s up with the right mind.
I’ve said this before won’t do it any more
I’m frontin’ with the world and my life is really yours
man it hurts like dancing on corns the walk is sore
flesh is in control but I claimed you as Lord
Philippians 4:13 through Christ I’ve got it beaten
it seems now of days the only strength I got is leaving
turned from your way when your face I should be seeking
deny you at times like Peter heart aches I'm reaching
out because I have to no doubt I need to
realizing sin breaks the vibe with you forgive me for the dirt I do
thank you for being snatched from wrath
deliver me oh God from my haunting past
it wants to take over my body like an allergic rash
I’m bout to blow up like a smoker soaked in gas
I’ve tried the praying daily and a week long fast
I avoid a way of escape I know I’m hurting you Dad
tired of dealing with the same sin but it’s amazing
how ya grace is sufficient and never changing
a safe haven
a dwelling place provided in you when my minds raging
as the flesh keeps chasing
everything and anything unlike you Lord ya patient
your strength’s made perfect in weakness regardless of weak men
ya spirit sustains men ‘til the day of redemption.
Ay yo I know what the Word say
But I’m fessin’ up. I’m messin’ up livin’ the world’s way
And I know sin can’t control me or hold me
But I’m having difficulty livin’ holy
And that’s real. ‘Bout as real as it’s gonna get.
Sometimes, man I feel like I just wanna quit
And to add insult to injury
I’m tryin’ to fight my flesh and plus resist the enemy
And dying to self is harder than I thought
I faced even more temptation the harder that I fought
I’m learning to live this Christian life on my knees
You dead wrong if you think the Christian life is a breeze
But I know I got the victory
Cuz I repented when the comforter came and convicted me
God is into
Conforming us to His Son’s image. Until He finishes, the saga continues
Have mercy oh Lord I feel the heat
although the spirit is willing my physique is weak
please fill the void and restore my faith
bring back the joy of me seeking your face
I purposed in my heart to serve and trust you
walk upright live truth obey you
but the more I try it seems the harder I fall
in a race of endurance man I tend to stall
Christian this is as real as it gets
ya faith is strengthened daily so daily strive to carry
out the plan of God ordained for us
before the world was framed he arranged for us
to go thru knowing your outcome
as you go thru out comes everything that’s unlike Him
in salvation you a work in progress
he will finish what he starts endure the process
Ephesians chapter 2 you made alive in Christ
in this chapter of life you’re positioned right
you know a distinguished life don’t relinquish light
when your spirit gets weak man trust his might
tell a friend if you’re anchored right
you'll be encouraged walk upright live as the bride of Christ
God’s grace is sufficient live in submission
His spirit sustains men till the day of redemption
Christian this is real as it gets
your faith is strengthened daily so endure the test
renewing the mind of Christ to resist the flesh
with a will to live peculiar despite the rest
at the cross we find grace the blood of Christ defines
who we are as righteous men among sinful kind
believer we cross the line it’s but a few times
a just man get’s up with the right mind.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
a good day
it's been a good day. got up and played bball this morning. my knee was bothering me during the week for no apparent reason. my wife thinks it's wear and tear and the weather. i started off kinda shaky the first two games but played well the last two games.
i came home and had breakfast with the family, then we let jr. around outside for a while. we came in and put the crib together and moved the dresser/changing table up to the boys room. jr. is also sleeping in his "big boy" bed now and we have our bed to ourselves. that's good cuz the wife is 7 months now and is expanding, lol.
he still wakes up during the early morning hours, but overall he's been doing well.
they're up taking a nap, and i'm getting some quiet time. aaahhh!! i guess we'll eat dinner a little after they get up, clean up and put him to bed not long after. the little man hasn't been too testy today. a little challenging but he kept it together for the most part. i say that with the biggest smile because he is such a character!!
the last few days have been trying, spiritually speaking, but i've been trying to keep my head in the Word. my verse for the week has been "So I say, live by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature". ~ Gal. 5:17.
the words, "you will not" stood out to me. He doesn't say, you might not, but you will not, a definitive statement. so i decided to memorize just that verse, and focus on the fact that if i live by the Spirit and learn what it means to live by the Spirit, i will not gratify those desires. it's still not easy, but i've been trying to stand on that verse alone when i'm tempted. my plan is to memorize the verses that follow possibly verse by verse to let as much as i can soak in. its a thought.
well, the little man and mom are up now so i'm gonna sign off and hang out with them.
i came home and had breakfast with the family, then we let jr. around outside for a while. we came in and put the crib together and moved the dresser/changing table up to the boys room. jr. is also sleeping in his "big boy" bed now and we have our bed to ourselves. that's good cuz the wife is 7 months now and is expanding, lol.
he still wakes up during the early morning hours, but overall he's been doing well.
they're up taking a nap, and i'm getting some quiet time. aaahhh!! i guess we'll eat dinner a little after they get up, clean up and put him to bed not long after. the little man hasn't been too testy today. a little challenging but he kept it together for the most part. i say that with the biggest smile because he is such a character!!
the last few days have been trying, spiritually speaking, but i've been trying to keep my head in the Word. my verse for the week has been "So I say, live by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature". ~ Gal. 5:17.
the words, "you will not" stood out to me. He doesn't say, you might not, but you will not, a definitive statement. so i decided to memorize just that verse, and focus on the fact that if i live by the Spirit and learn what it means to live by the Spirit, i will not gratify those desires. it's still not easy, but i've been trying to stand on that verse alone when i'm tempted. my plan is to memorize the verses that follow possibly verse by verse to let as much as i can soak in. its a thought.
well, the little man and mom are up now so i'm gonna sign off and hang out with them.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
habits
i'm a creature of habit. i've come to realize that recently, or i've just gotten to be that way over the years. being that way has it's pros and cons. some pros are that i always know where things are. for example, i have a basket where i put my cell, wallet, pager, watch, cash and loose change. my keys always get hung up on the key hooks by the door. i got the basket cuz i was tired of looking for those things when i had to go out or was leaving for work in the morning. if something is not where it's supposed to be, it makes it easier for me to retrace my steps and find it, because i have an easier time remembering what i did different from the normal routine. that alone, relieves some stress. the one major con is if i do something majorly different than the norm, i might not be able to find my keys or phone and i'll have no idea what i did with them the day before. of course i'll only realize this as i'm about to walk out the door.
sometimes, the sins that i'm so frustrated with are done out of habit. i hate that. the flesh is such a monster, and the more you feed it, the bigger it gets. i think i have a much better understanding of what the scriptures meant when we're told not to give the devil a foothold (ephesians 4:27). when you allow a sin to become habitual, you've given him that foothold. one definition for foothold is "A firm or secure position that provides a base for further advancement." further advancement in the believers case, pushes him/her further away from God, and that's what the devil wants. it'll be awhile before i get it, but i'm slowly learning that i have to form other habits to combat the sin in my life so it becomes less and less habitual. i'm still trying to do too much on my own, need to place my confidence in the Lord and follow the precepts He laid out to resist temptation. i'm hating my flesh more and more and i find myself thinking that more and more. my bros and sisters in the faith tell me that's a good thing. hopefully i'll be able to learn how to die to myself daily. that's a theme in alot of music that i listen to and sometimes the concept seems so foreign to me. well not foreign, but like alot of work LOL. whew!! but the reward is worth the work right? i know that that closer i get to the Lord, things that are not pleasing to Him will become less and less desirable and the more i rely on Him for my strength in the battle against the flesh, hopefully it'll feel like less work.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
My Prayer
(taken from part of Lifetime Gaurantee's devotional for today, these words express my thoughts and prayers... )
Lord, I long to know You better. I realize that this deep desire will be fulfilled as I spend time with just You. That doesn't mean having my Bible open in front of me at all times. It means being together, talking, laughing, crying, observing, walking leisurely holding hands. I don't want to read my Bible to meet the goal of "reading through the Bible this year;" I don't want to spend hours to impress others with my Bible knowledge; I don't want to have a disciplined time of study so I can check it off as an accomplished goal. No. I want to spend time with You because I want to know You and all Your intricacies. You have very painstakingly told me all about Yourself in Your Word, having others record Your innermost thoughts and Your visions. I read what they have recorded and then You and I talk about it-sitting out in the swing, working on the lawn, washing the dishes. We simply talk. We spend time together. You know me. I want to know You. I love you, Lord.
The Lord says: Let not the wise man bask in his wisdom, nor the mighty man in his might, nor the rich man in his riches. Let them boast in this alone: That they truly know Me . . . . Jeremiah 9:23
Lord, I long to know You better. I realize that this deep desire will be fulfilled as I spend time with just You. That doesn't mean having my Bible open in front of me at all times. It means being together, talking, laughing, crying, observing, walking leisurely holding hands. I don't want to read my Bible to meet the goal of "reading through the Bible this year;" I don't want to spend hours to impress others with my Bible knowledge; I don't want to have a disciplined time of study so I can check it off as an accomplished goal. No. I want to spend time with You because I want to know You and all Your intricacies. You have very painstakingly told me all about Yourself in Your Word, having others record Your innermost thoughts and Your visions. I read what they have recorded and then You and I talk about it-sitting out in the swing, working on the lawn, washing the dishes. We simply talk. We spend time together. You know me. I want to know You. I love you, Lord.
The Lord says: Let not the wise man bask in his wisdom, nor the mighty man in his might, nor the rich man in his riches. Let them boast in this alone: That they truly know Me . . . . Jeremiah 9:23
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
spending time with God
Godzheart left a comment regarding my last post, saying that i was so blessed to be able to spend so much time with the Lord. well, one of my devotional reads for today was on just that.
"Jesus our Lord is always with us whether life is hectic or calm, but there
is great value in taking time each day to walk the quiet road with Him."
also, check out Lifetime Guarantee's devotional for today. it's about how Jesus goes before the Father for us. our creater goes to bat for us!!
33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us - Romans 8:33-34
"Jesus our Lord is always with us whether life is hectic or calm, but there
is great value in taking time each day to walk the quiet road with Him."
also, check out Lifetime Guarantee's devotional for today. it's about how Jesus goes before the Father for us. our creater goes to bat for us!!
33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us - Romans 8:33-34
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
joy joy joy deep in my heart...deep in my heart
"Joy comes from the Lord who lives in us, not from what’s happening around us"
That's a quote from my devotion this morning. i have a inner joy going on today. and i know its from having a closer walk with God. even if it's just in this moment or today, it's there. i'm very happy to be doing the Rendezvous series and have been looking forward to spending that quiet time with the Lord in the mornings. there has definetly been more of an inner peace with me lately. God is good, and i thank Him for his mercies, cuz they're new every morning!! it's just a relief to not feel like i was awhile back, stuck in the muck and mire of sin. the workbook for the Rendezvous series has been pretty challenging for me with some of the questions it asks, and it causes you to really examine your relationship with Christ. i've been doing the reading from the book, the study guide and my own personal devotions in the mornings seperate from the book. i hope to grow from this and to encourage others if i can.
people say that God is there...actually God says He's there, even in the small stuff. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. - (Matthew 10:29)
sometimes when i'm listening to my mp3 player, and this morning was an example, it's like God has a special playlist ready for me to listen to. my player has over 2200 tracks on it and 95% of it is christian music, and i usually have it playing on "shuffle all", so i never know what's next. but man, i'm telling you, sometimes the order of songs are either songs that i love or sometimes, they're songs that one after another touch on something i'm going through or have a message i needed to hear that day or right at that moment. this morning on the way in was one of those morning. i was just feeling like praising God for this inner peace i had because of my confidence in His faithfullness and patience. and the songs, one after the other were praise themed songs, and they just went with what i was thinking and feeling. it's happened often enough that i wonder if He's that involved in even the smallest details of our lives. i've mentioned it before where the same thing happens with the devotionals i'd read for the day, and the thing is i read two different ones from two different sites. gotta wonder. at any rate i thank Him for leading me to find good christian music, that helps me to keep my mind stayed on Him.
That's a quote from my devotion this morning. i have a inner joy going on today. and i know its from having a closer walk with God. even if it's just in this moment or today, it's there. i'm very happy to be doing the Rendezvous series and have been looking forward to spending that quiet time with the Lord in the mornings. there has definetly been more of an inner peace with me lately. God is good, and i thank Him for his mercies, cuz they're new every morning!! it's just a relief to not feel like i was awhile back, stuck in the muck and mire of sin. the workbook for the Rendezvous series has been pretty challenging for me with some of the questions it asks, and it causes you to really examine your relationship with Christ. i've been doing the reading from the book, the study guide and my own personal devotions in the mornings seperate from the book. i hope to grow from this and to encourage others if i can.
people say that God is there...actually God says He's there, even in the small stuff. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. - (Matthew 10:29)
sometimes when i'm listening to my mp3 player, and this morning was an example, it's like God has a special playlist ready for me to listen to. my player has over 2200 tracks on it and 95% of it is christian music, and i usually have it playing on "shuffle all", so i never know what's next. but man, i'm telling you, sometimes the order of songs are either songs that i love or sometimes, they're songs that one after another touch on something i'm going through or have a message i needed to hear that day or right at that moment. this morning on the way in was one of those morning. i was just feeling like praising God for this inner peace i had because of my confidence in His faithfullness and patience. and the songs, one after the other were praise themed songs, and they just went with what i was thinking and feeling. it's happened often enough that i wonder if He's that involved in even the smallest details of our lives. i've mentioned it before where the same thing happens with the devotionals i'd read for the day, and the thing is i read two different ones from two different sites. gotta wonder. at any rate i thank Him for leading me to find good christian music, that helps me to keep my mind stayed on Him.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
new music
added some new music to the music blog. i've been in a praise and worship mood the last coupla days, so these songs reflect that. the lyrics do, the style of music may not to some people.
Living as Children of Light
Paul instructs us to no longer live as the gentiles who were darkened in their understanding and seperated from the life of God because of the ignorance that was in them due to the hardening of their hearts. these same gentiles lost all sensitivity and gave themselves over to every kind of impurity with a continual lust for more. Ephesians 4:17-19
Paul actually insists that we don't live like this. i think i've had the idea in my head for the longest time that having a heart that desires to live for God would "just happen". i didn't realize how much i am responsible for. Paul says that we are taught with regard to our former way of life to put off our old self, which is being corrupted by it's deceitful desires and to be made new in the attitudes of our minds and to put on the new self created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4: 20-24. That statement infers that it's something we can do, it's a change of attitude.
Verses 25 thru 32 go on to give more instruction on putting off old behaviors that do not reflect the love of Christ. the thing that struck me for the first time this morning is that these are behaviors that we have to decide to change. there's no swallowing a magic pill and puff, those behaviors are gone! or even just throwing up a prayer to God to have Him change your attitude with nothing being done on our part. we have to purposely set out to change. in my reading from our Rendezvous material, the author compares our relationship with Christ to a garden and the work it takes to grow as a Christian. "we must tend to our heart and life daily to guard against intruders creeping up from within and hindering our spirtual growth and effectiveness".
we have to remember that we can't do it on our own, and that we need the Holy Spirit to help strengthen us. also seeing that Jesus didn't face the temptations in the desert alone was another eye opener. i mean, i'd read it many times before but a "light" came on this time. He had the Holy spirit with him and angels ministered to Him later. "We have the Holy Spirit just as Jesus did. The Spirit lives in our hearts, empowers our efforts, and directs our steps."
i thought i'd just share how my eyes were opened to the fact that we have alot to do with changing internally, alot more than i realized anyway. it is hard work, but it can be done with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Paul actually insists that we don't live like this. i think i've had the idea in my head for the longest time that having a heart that desires to live for God would "just happen". i didn't realize how much i am responsible for. Paul says that we are taught with regard to our former way of life to put off our old self, which is being corrupted by it's deceitful desires and to be made new in the attitudes of our minds and to put on the new self created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4: 20-24. That statement infers that it's something we can do, it's a change of attitude.
Verses 25 thru 32 go on to give more instruction on putting off old behaviors that do not reflect the love of Christ. the thing that struck me for the first time this morning is that these are behaviors that we have to decide to change. there's no swallowing a magic pill and puff, those behaviors are gone! or even just throwing up a prayer to God to have Him change your attitude with nothing being done on our part. we have to purposely set out to change. in my reading from our Rendezvous material, the author compares our relationship with Christ to a garden and the work it takes to grow as a Christian. "we must tend to our heart and life daily to guard against intruders creeping up from within and hindering our spirtual growth and effectiveness".
we have to remember that we can't do it on our own, and that we need the Holy Spirit to help strengthen us. also seeing that Jesus didn't face the temptations in the desert alone was another eye opener. i mean, i'd read it many times before but a "light" came on this time. He had the Holy spirit with him and angels ministered to Him later. "We have the Holy Spirit just as Jesus did. The Spirit lives in our hearts, empowers our efforts, and directs our steps."
i thought i'd just share how my eyes were opened to the fact that we have alot to do with changing internally, alot more than i realized anyway. it is hard work, but it can be done with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Monday, October 15, 2007
verse of the day
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:10
Ephesians 2:10
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Rendezvous
our church is starting a 40 day program called Rendezvous...a Sacred Encounter with God. actually, alof Nazaren churches are participating. the idea of the program is to help encourage people to turn their relationship with Christ into a more intimate one than it currently is. we'll be doing our reading during the week, then meet on sunday evenings to discuss the prior week's reading. i'm looking forward to it. my wife and i will both going, so i'm hoping it'll bring Christ more into focus in our marriage. one reason i'm looking forward to it is to be able to just talk about God and living this christian life with other believers. i think i'd like to be in the kind of community where we're really keeping each other accountable. encouragement, edification, praying for each other, sharing our struggles, all that good stuff. i dunno, does that kind of community really exist? you know, the kind where you say to someone, "hey, the other day i was reading proverbs and this verse really stuck out to me." ...and it turns into a good convo, and thats the norm. i hunger for that sometimes. today i think i'm feeling that way.
so far it's been pretty quiet today at work, and i think i'm gonna spend some time reading and in prayer. what i'll read, i dunno. maybe i'll continue my reading of Chronicles, not sure. maybe i'll find something to study, so lost when it comes to personal bible study, but i wouldn't mind starting one. speaking of study, my pastor and i will start meeting after the Rendezvous program completes. man, i can't describe the desire to live for God that's in me sometimes! it can be so frustrating at times, cuz i'm so weak. i need to learn how to live out 2 Corinthians 12:9: 9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." spending more time in the Word, and less talk and more walk lol. i'm working on it. that's why i think a consistent community presence would be good in my life, any believers life for that matter. it may happen some day. ok, off to do something...work i guess. ugh
so far it's been pretty quiet today at work, and i think i'm gonna spend some time reading and in prayer. what i'll read, i dunno. maybe i'll continue my reading of Chronicles, not sure. maybe i'll find something to study, so lost when it comes to personal bible study, but i wouldn't mind starting one. speaking of study, my pastor and i will start meeting after the Rendezvous program completes. man, i can't describe the desire to live for God that's in me sometimes! it can be so frustrating at times, cuz i'm so weak. i need to learn how to live out 2 Corinthians 12:9: 9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." spending more time in the Word, and less talk and more walk lol. i'm working on it. that's why i think a consistent community presence would be good in my life, any believers life for that matter. it may happen some day. ok, off to do something...work i guess. ugh
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
talking with friends about God
have you ever tried talking to someone, a friend about God? especially when that friend doesn't attend church and doesn't consider themselves to be "religious"? i have a friend who i ride the commuter rail to work with just about every morning and we had our first "religious" discussion. i think it went very well.
we were having a convesation about how sedentary kids are today and how much we walked when we were growing up. i brought up walking everywhere and church was one of the places i walked to often. somehow the conversation turned to her not going to church very often and not considering herself to be very religious. i told her how i didn't consider myself to be religious and that i felt that word wasn't an accurate description of a believer. i said it much differently of course. i think i gave a general description of the difference between being "religious" and how being a believer is less about you and more about God. your view of life is based more on living a lifestyle that is pleasing to God. how you treat others, your own personal behavior, living a lifestyle that is obedient to God. don't know if i used the word obedient, but she got the idea of what i was saying. and it was received well. we also got into why some people view Catholics as not being Christian. i mostly touched on confession and how for Christians, Christ removed the need for a priest and is our bridge to God. i also talked about the sacrificial system of the Jews in the OT and how Christ was the ultimate sacrifice and became our mediator.
i kept it pretty general i think, but gave enough detail to possibly open her mind a little more than it is. prior to the conversation getting deeper she had mentioned wanting to eventually go back to church. so there was opportunity and it wasn't the first time that church came up, but the first time we talked at length. i'm glad that it wasn't an uncomfortable convo between friends. when i think about it, alot of topics came up and i think she came away with a better understanding of some things.
we kinda moved on from there but it went very well and i'm hoping that some things piqued her interest or changed her view a little on church. the term "organized religion" came up and i explained that it really should be more of a community of people who believe the same thing and are coming together to support each other. in essences that what church is. i think when people use the term "organized religion", their feelings are that it's almost cult-like and people involved in organized religion aren't thinking on their own.
we were having a convesation about how sedentary kids are today and how much we walked when we were growing up. i brought up walking everywhere and church was one of the places i walked to often. somehow the conversation turned to her not going to church very often and not considering herself to be very religious. i told her how i didn't consider myself to be religious and that i felt that word wasn't an accurate description of a believer. i said it much differently of course. i think i gave a general description of the difference between being "religious" and how being a believer is less about you and more about God. your view of life is based more on living a lifestyle that is pleasing to God. how you treat others, your own personal behavior, living a lifestyle that is obedient to God. don't know if i used the word obedient, but she got the idea of what i was saying. and it was received well. we also got into why some people view Catholics as not being Christian. i mostly touched on confession and how for Christians, Christ removed the need for a priest and is our bridge to God. i also talked about the sacrificial system of the Jews in the OT and how Christ was the ultimate sacrifice and became our mediator.
i kept it pretty general i think, but gave enough detail to possibly open her mind a little more than it is. prior to the conversation getting deeper she had mentioned wanting to eventually go back to church. so there was opportunity and it wasn't the first time that church came up, but the first time we talked at length. i'm glad that it wasn't an uncomfortable convo between friends. when i think about it, alot of topics came up and i think she came away with a better understanding of some things.
we kinda moved on from there but it went very well and i'm hoping that some things piqued her interest or changed her view a little on church. the term "organized religion" came up and i explained that it really should be more of a community of people who believe the same thing and are coming together to support each other. in essences that what church is. i think when people use the term "organized religion", their feelings are that it's almost cult-like and people involved in organized religion aren't thinking on their own.
Monday, October 08, 2007
recent newz
so we had our echocardiogram and everything looked good. the only thing left will be ultra-sounds. so hopefully we'll enjoy the journey a little more with some of that stuff behind us.
our first little man has been driving us crazy!! it's comical when i think of it. probably the typical two and a half year old behavior. but man, he's testing every ounce of patience i have...lol. meanwhile, the wife is nesting and i'm caught up in the whirlwind. which i like, cuz i like having the place in order and right now it's getting straightened up. it's becoming more and more of a reality, especially with her showing earlier this pregnancy. very excitiing....i'm just rambling..i'm sorry.
i feel blessed, despite the struggle. and at times, it's more apparent to see how some can compare our realtionship with God to a romance. the way He persues us. sometimes it's hard to see it that way. at least it is for me. then it comes to me in a subtle way. truths about His character. things i've read in His word and then i realize that it's a truth in my life. very hard to explain. well, mr. "it's my world" is up from his nap and it would be futile to try and do any blogging with his expanding world envading mine. so till next time.
our first little man has been driving us crazy!! it's comical when i think of it. probably the typical two and a half year old behavior. but man, he's testing every ounce of patience i have...lol. meanwhile, the wife is nesting and i'm caught up in the whirlwind. which i like, cuz i like having the place in order and right now it's getting straightened up. it's becoming more and more of a reality, especially with her showing earlier this pregnancy. very excitiing....i'm just rambling..i'm sorry.
i feel blessed, despite the struggle. and at times, it's more apparent to see how some can compare our realtionship with God to a romance. the way He persues us. sometimes it's hard to see it that way. at least it is for me. then it comes to me in a subtle way. truths about His character. things i've read in His word and then i realize that it's a truth in my life. very hard to explain. well, mr. "it's my world" is up from his nap and it would be futile to try and do any blogging with his expanding world envading mine. so till next time.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
question
why do we resist God? better yet, why as believers do we resist? why do we "return to our vomit"? (As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly. -proverbs 26:11). i hate this law that works inside me...(So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. - romans 7:21)
Monday, September 24, 2007
encouraged
once again i've been encouraged when least expecting it. Granny B left a comment that encourages me to keep pressing on with expressing myself through this blog. and i went to visit her site today and her post titled "You are Worthy" was something i needed to read today. been feelin' pretty defeated lately. and it so happens to go along with today's verse of the day which is: " 35 So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. 36 You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." - Hebrews 10:35-36 thanks again for stopping by.
last week was a pretty stressful week for me. mostly work stress, printers going down, a pc getting a virus (and the pc belongs to a needy doc), more printers going down. i also had a unpleasant experience at bball and that had me all fired up. someone had something to say and i didn't like how it was done and it just took all the air outta my sails, as well as making me very angry. i was so overwhelmed by thursday, i was trying to mentally process too much information at one time and it got to me. the printer issues had been resolved by the end of the day thursday, by almost the end of the day on friday i was able to resolve the virus issue, and on saturday morning i talked to the guy who's approach i didn't appreciate at bball and was feeling better by the end of the day. we made it out to church on sunday, and it was good to be there and be around other believers. we'll be starting a new 40 day program at the church in Oct. called Rendevous, where we'll be meeting in small groups doing a study on having a more intimate relationship with Christ. i signed us up for it and i'm looking forward to it. i still plan on getting together with the pastor for personal studies, just have to work out the where and when.
i'm hoping for a less stressed week this week. i'm also hoping to get some things organized. we have so much to organize, just finding where to start is tough. my wife works nights, three 12 hour shifts a week, and they're not always the same night. that makes getting things done around the house tough. i work days five days a week, she's almost 6 months pregnant, throw in a very very active 2 and 1/2 yr old and BAM, the apartment you just cleaned is a mess...a day and a half later! i'm working on it though, we both are.
well, i've survived another day at work, gonna be heading soon. i'm working on putting some new songs on the radio blog. i recently made a mix for my sis and i'm going to put that up. this is a cd meant to encourage her and it's a praise and worship theme. i believe she can really use the encouragement right now, she's been going through some financial difficulty. i should be back soon to blog some more, possibly tonight, but it's doubtful. after i put the little man to bed, it should be time for the season premiere of Heroes on NBC!!! ok, off to catch my train.
last week was a pretty stressful week for me. mostly work stress, printers going down, a pc getting a virus (and the pc belongs to a needy doc), more printers going down. i also had a unpleasant experience at bball and that had me all fired up. someone had something to say and i didn't like how it was done and it just took all the air outta my sails, as well as making me very angry. i was so overwhelmed by thursday, i was trying to mentally process too much information at one time and it got to me. the printer issues had been resolved by the end of the day thursday, by almost the end of the day on friday i was able to resolve the virus issue, and on saturday morning i talked to the guy who's approach i didn't appreciate at bball and was feeling better by the end of the day. we made it out to church on sunday, and it was good to be there and be around other believers. we'll be starting a new 40 day program at the church in Oct. called Rendevous, where we'll be meeting in small groups doing a study on having a more intimate relationship with Christ. i signed us up for it and i'm looking forward to it. i still plan on getting together with the pastor for personal studies, just have to work out the where and when.
i'm hoping for a less stressed week this week. i'm also hoping to get some things organized. we have so much to organize, just finding where to start is tough. my wife works nights, three 12 hour shifts a week, and they're not always the same night. that makes getting things done around the house tough. i work days five days a week, she's almost 6 months pregnant, throw in a very very active 2 and 1/2 yr old and BAM, the apartment you just cleaned is a mess...a day and a half later! i'm working on it though, we both are.
well, i've survived another day at work, gonna be heading soon. i'm working on putting some new songs on the radio blog. i recently made a mix for my sis and i'm going to put that up. this is a cd meant to encourage her and it's a praise and worship theme. i believe she can really use the encouragement right now, she's been going through some financial difficulty. i should be back soon to blog some more, possibly tonight, but it's doubtful. after i put the little man to bed, it should be time for the season premiere of Heroes on NBC!!! ok, off to catch my train.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
it's been a minute...or two
sorry i haven't updated recently (to my legions of readers lolol). to be honest i haven't felt much like blogging and so much has been going on. on the good news front...we're having a baby!! my wife is now 5 months pregnant and of course we're very excited!! we've been keepin' it kinda hush hush, cuz in nov of 06 she had an ectopic pregnancy and it was rough on her and we were pretty nervous about how this pregnancy was gonna go. BUT, we had faith that whatever way it went, it was in God's hands and we know that we had to trust Him. she has been very sick during this pregnancy, for the entire 5 months! whew!! throw in some raging hormones and one can imagine that things have been a little rough. Also, due to her age, blood tests were being done for Downs Syndrome, but the labs and dr. offices were sending the blood draws to the wrong places, or doing the wrong tests, so it's been a little stressful. we even changed OB's in the beginning cuz they couldn't handle what they called "high risk", but we still had to deal with that office since they did the blood draws. this time around things have been much different from when we had our first child. she didn't have any morning sickness then, no nasaue, no heartburn, nothin', nada. she's been experiencing all of that and more with this one, but she's been feeling much better since sunday. we're having a boy by the way.
i guess you can say as usual i've been struggling. struggling with obedience, consistency in my walk, faithfulness. i haven't started my study with my pastor yet, actually haven't spoken to him since early in the summer. mostly due to the summer schedule and we figured once the summer was over we'd have a better grip on our schedules. but i think i'd like to have someone to study with, chop it up with besides the pastor, maybe someone closer to my age. i dunno. i've been reading alot of "debates" on a site, mostly around calvinism and frankly i'm tired of the debates. and to some degree i have a problem with debating over theology. probably because i've seen it turn into personal attacks and i don't think that was what the bible was written for. i understand the need to contend for the truth, but the personal attacks is what bothers me the most, as well as the tone of some of the posters. it's demeaning and just doesn't come across as Christ-like, and please don't come at me debating the meaning of love and saying things with love. there is an obvious difference between how some people express things and it's just not done with love. also, claiming that Christ spoke to so and so in this manner doesn't excuse how someone else expresses themselves and/or presents the scriptures.
anyway, i think my other name is "Isreal" - struggles with God. i think on some levels that's why i don't post often. i feel like, who'd wanna read this?? "does this guy ever feel good about his relationship with God??" "this is depressing" "he needs to stop talkin about it and be about it". well, anyway, i'll be trying to post more often. i'm going to try and post just about happenings in my life in general, things i'm observing and of course this spiritual struggle. man, sometimes it really feels like a battle!!
God is still working on me though and i know He's been putting people in my path (believers) at work. We talk from time to time about the Christian walk and/or scripture and what we've learned from it. i'm still making mix cd's for Christians and non Christians to encourage them and just to show there's an alternative to listen to and it's God glorifying. Funny....i don't even listen to the radio anymore and don't keep up with what's going on. Ever since getting introduced to The Crossmovement in '02....i think that's when i found out about them. anyway, i'm hoping that someone may end up feeling the same way about secular music and turn from it to listen to music that talks about our Creator after hearing a mix cd or two that i give them. ok, gotta get back to work. Special shout out to Godzheart! thanks for keeping up and commenting, just when i'm thinking about giving up on this blogging thing, you leave a comment and it's mad encouraging. God bless you!!
i guess you can say as usual i've been struggling. struggling with obedience, consistency in my walk, faithfulness. i haven't started my study with my pastor yet, actually haven't spoken to him since early in the summer. mostly due to the summer schedule and we figured once the summer was over we'd have a better grip on our schedules. but i think i'd like to have someone to study with, chop it up with besides the pastor, maybe someone closer to my age. i dunno. i've been reading alot of "debates" on a site, mostly around calvinism and frankly i'm tired of the debates. and to some degree i have a problem with debating over theology. probably because i've seen it turn into personal attacks and i don't think that was what the bible was written for. i understand the need to contend for the truth, but the personal attacks is what bothers me the most, as well as the tone of some of the posters. it's demeaning and just doesn't come across as Christ-like, and please don't come at me debating the meaning of love and saying things with love. there is an obvious difference between how some people express things and it's just not done with love. also, claiming that Christ spoke to so and so in this manner doesn't excuse how someone else expresses themselves and/or presents the scriptures.
anyway, i think my other name is "Isreal" - struggles with God. i think on some levels that's why i don't post often. i feel like, who'd wanna read this?? "does this guy ever feel good about his relationship with God??" "this is depressing" "he needs to stop talkin about it and be about it". well, anyway, i'll be trying to post more often. i'm going to try and post just about happenings in my life in general, things i'm observing and of course this spiritual struggle. man, sometimes it really feels like a battle!!
God is still working on me though and i know He's been putting people in my path (believers) at work. We talk from time to time about the Christian walk and/or scripture and what we've learned from it. i'm still making mix cd's for Christians and non Christians to encourage them and just to show there's an alternative to listen to and it's God glorifying. Funny....i don't even listen to the radio anymore and don't keep up with what's going on. Ever since getting introduced to The Crossmovement in '02....i think that's when i found out about them. anyway, i'm hoping that someone may end up feeling the same way about secular music and turn from it to listen to music that talks about our Creator after hearing a mix cd or two that i give them. ok, gotta get back to work. Special shout out to Godzheart! thanks for keeping up and commenting, just when i'm thinking about giving up on this blogging thing, you leave a comment and it's mad encouraging. God bless you!!
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
an update
for anyone who may read this from time to time. things are going well. went on vacation about a week after my last post. we went to a family reunion and my wife's family got to meet our little man for the first time. it was a real good time and he did well for his first time taking a long trip by car. in other news, i've transitioned over to a "new" job. the company i was contracted out to absorbed some of us after ending the contract. i'm doing the same thing as before, just working for the company now, instead of being contracted out.
i had a difficult time getting back into work mode and back into reading my Bible. i went on vacation hoping to have lots of quiet time to spend with the Lord and it didn't work out that way. i could have made more of an effort, but i didn't and don't want to offer any excuses. and so it just went downhill from there. i'm just now getting back into doing my morning devotions, praying and having the correct mindset. it had been bothering me that i wasn't doing any of that stuff, but i wouldn't do anything about it. but i noticed that i was getting back to being the old me. the fuse on my temper was shorter, i was becoming more and more withdrawn and i could just feel a disconnect between me and God. so after a few weeks of not really seeking Him out, i did a morning devotion and of course it spoke to what i was going through, and the one thing i took from it was that was 1.) there is no hiding from God (i was trying to avoid Him) and 2.) fellowhip with God is just a prayer away. hopefully there was some growth during that time, or a lesson learned from not spending time talking to the Lord on the regular. actually i know that i learned that i need Him just to maintain. it's amazing how much one's personality can change in just a few days of now fellowshiping with Him.
i don't know if i've mentioned it before, but i've made plans with my pastor to start doing a Bible Study with him. not sure yet if it'll be a specific book, but i know i'll have alot of questions for him before we even get to studying. i also know i want to get real deep with it, studying the greek and hebrew, times, places and the culture of the people during that time. all to get a better understanding of the context of scripture and what is really being said. my hope is it will bring me into a closer walk and more consistent devotion. so pray for me. that's it for now, i have some other news but i'll hold off on that for awhile. hopefully i'll get back to being more consistent with blogging. part of the reason that i know i'm not consistent was because i was hoping to have more interaction with others through my blog, but it hasn't happened. at times i'm tempted to make this a private blog, but i'll hold off for now. that's all for now.
i had a difficult time getting back into work mode and back into reading my Bible. i went on vacation hoping to have lots of quiet time to spend with the Lord and it didn't work out that way. i could have made more of an effort, but i didn't and don't want to offer any excuses. and so it just went downhill from there. i'm just now getting back into doing my morning devotions, praying and having the correct mindset. it had been bothering me that i wasn't doing any of that stuff, but i wouldn't do anything about it. but i noticed that i was getting back to being the old me. the fuse on my temper was shorter, i was becoming more and more withdrawn and i could just feel a disconnect between me and God. so after a few weeks of not really seeking Him out, i did a morning devotion and of course it spoke to what i was going through, and the one thing i took from it was that was 1.) there is no hiding from God (i was trying to avoid Him) and 2.) fellowhip with God is just a prayer away. hopefully there was some growth during that time, or a lesson learned from not spending time talking to the Lord on the regular. actually i know that i learned that i need Him just to maintain. it's amazing how much one's personality can change in just a few days of now fellowshiping with Him.
i don't know if i've mentioned it before, but i've made plans with my pastor to start doing a Bible Study with him. not sure yet if it'll be a specific book, but i know i'll have alot of questions for him before we even get to studying. i also know i want to get real deep with it, studying the greek and hebrew, times, places and the culture of the people during that time. all to get a better understanding of the context of scripture and what is really being said. my hope is it will bring me into a closer walk and more consistent devotion. so pray for me. that's it for now, i have some other news but i'll hold off on that for awhile. hopefully i'll get back to being more consistent with blogging. part of the reason that i know i'm not consistent was because i was hoping to have more interaction with others through my blog, but it hasn't happened. at times i'm tempted to make this a private blog, but i'll hold off for now. that's all for now.
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