the sin problem

well, a few hours since my last post i came across two posts that we're actually encouraging because of the writer's transparency. first jenn wrote about the mortification of sin, and to me at least, it touched on some of what i was expressing in my previous post. then larosa posted a devotion about this incredible walk we're on.

jenn posted this over at hcr and one of the forum members responded with lyrics from a song that means alot to him. his hcr name is Conviction Music and you can check out his myspace page, he has an album in the works.

these lyrics also really say some things that are in my heart and express the frustration i feel at times:

You know the feeling when you tired and you stressed out/
you need to pray but your too prideful to just bow so you lie with ya chest out/
frontin like your fine, but in ya mind ya stretched out/
ya put you faith face on but deep in side ya fresh out/
Ya tell ya self, i cant believe that im faking/
but im scared they gone judge me if they see that im aching, see that im facing/
troubles thats gone lead to disgrace then, i'll be humbled once they see that im caged in/
im weak and ive straight sinned, my problems got me thinking i cant win/
now im going off on family, man, i mean it my faiths dim/
im 'pose to be a Christian full of love and not the flesh, but i confess this
weight is to heavy for me to squat or press/
i gotta rest, before this ungodliness topples me, sometimes i think/
that God is gotta be tired of watching me/
when most the time im leading cats to his face, this time its me that needs your love, im coming back to your grace/

hopefully i'll be in a better place soon. it's hard to explain, cuz as down as i feel at times i have confidence in God and that He's still shaping and molding me. i had more thoughts i wanted to write but they've left me for now. i'll be back later.