confession IS good for the soul

you know, it's amazing what prayer does for one internally. most times when i struggle in my walk i don't wanna talk to God. probably cuz of shame and frustration that i'm coming to Him again asking for forgiveness for the same thing. what will happen then is i'll start feeling less and less of any connection to Him and it'll start eating away at me. this could go on for days, then probably due to the Lord's relentlessness i come to Him, confess, repent and ask for continued grace and His strength to carry me through. man, the weight gets lifted!! i start to realize it later as the day goes on. don't get it twisted, things are still on my mind, but i don't have the "black cloud" over my head. a friend of mine said, in the past, it was like i had a black cloud over me when he'd see me, even in church. i used to just wallow in it too, not necessarily in a sad way, but i lived in that cloud and kinda enjoyed it. it was protection. kept people out of my buisness and getting too close. whew...i'm glad that's not the case anymore. trying to live for the Lord, instead of self....what a difference it makes! life has a MUCH different perspective when you're focused more on God and living a life that's pleasing to Him. so i encourage anyone who may read this. PRAY. i need to do much more of it myself, but it is such a help. think about it, the God who created you wants to hear from you, wants to instruct you on how to live this life, and he gives us a means to reach Him!! amazing. amazing grace!!