Life Time Garauntee

i don't know if i've said this before, but i love this site. it seems like the devotionals are written just for me sometimes. today's was about letting go of our burdens and letting God handle them. something i struggle with. for me, it was just an encouraging read.

i've been having a difficult time this week. it's been hard to stay focused, i've been kinda forgetful or more like scattered brained. my wife says it's pregnancy brain and i believe her cause i just have not been myself. with the new baby coming i think there's been some underlying anxiety that i wasn't aware of. i haven't been relying on the Lord to carry me through in alot of areas in my life and i'm realizing it more and more. obviously it's a control issue. but i'm not a control freak, so i think again, it's a matter of a lack of trust on my part. i've been questioning myself on that latelly too. one part of me says "of course you trust the Lord", and the other side is saying, "you can handle it", when really, i can't. i don't talk to God enough either. we are to pray unceassingly, and it's a weakness of mine. i believe part of that is due to the fact that i know deep in my heart that that much commnication with the Lord will bring conviction on areas that i still need to work on. pray for me as i try to work on improving in that area, trusting the Lord to take care of me.

i have some other thoughts, but i'll post them under a different subject. anyway, i really like that site's devotionals, they speak to my heart and alot of times, meet me right where i'm at.

stress

i think i'm stressed. so much going on. new baby on the way. that alone is mind blowing, it's almost like it's not real. jr. is in a very patience testing stage. my wife has been very uncomfortable since week 4 of the pregnancy. i'm buggin about how out of shape i am. my mind is telling me that i could be in the gym more. there's been enough opportunity too. but energy is low...must reserve...2 yr old....strong. lol. man....what a challenge!! he's not bad, but he's strong willed and stubborn, and has an amazing amount of energy.

and then there's my walk. it's a never ending battle. i need to put on more armor! ha! just thought of that. but it's tough, and i'm trying to persevere. i started my day off with prayer today. went to play ball and didn't turn the music on for about half the ride and prayed. starting the day off in a short amount of silence is good. i'm always on, and it gets harder and harder to slow my roll sometimes. it's usually done out of exhaustion.

anyway, mix all of that and more together and there's a nice good sized stress ball. but i'm not feeling so stressed now, just reflecting on how i've been feeling for awhile now.

man, i hope getting back in the gym will relieve some of that. obviously starting the day off in prayer is the best though. duh. :-)

as real as it gets

i'm lovin this song right now. well it'll probably always be a favorite. great lyrics and i feel this song everytime i hear it. it's from the Process of Illumination and Elimination by Everyday Process:

Christian this is real as it gets
your faith is strengthened daily so endure the test
renewing the mind of Christ to resist the flesh
with a will to live peculiar despite the rest
at the cross we find grace the blood of Christ defines
who we are as righteous men among sinful kind
believer we cross the line it’s but a few times
a just man get’s up with the right mind.



I’ve said this before won’t do it any more
I’m frontin’ with the world and my life is really yours
man it hurts like dancing on corns the walk is sore
flesh is in control but I claimed you as Lord
Philippians 4:13 through Christ I’ve got it beaten
it seems now of days the only strength I got is leaving
turned from your way when your face I should be seeking
deny you at times like Peter heart aches I'm reaching
out because I have to no doubt I need to
realizing sin breaks the vibe with you forgive me for the dirt I do
thank you for being snatched from wrath
deliver me oh God from my haunting past
it wants to take over my body like an allergic rash
I’m bout to blow up like a smoker soaked in gas
I’ve tried the praying daily and a week long fast
I avoid a way of escape I know I’m hurting you Dad
tired of dealing with the same sin but it’s amazing
how ya grace is sufficient and never changing
a safe haven
a dwelling place provided in you when my minds raging
as the flesh keeps chasing
everything and anything unlike you Lord ya patient
your strength’s made perfect in weakness regardless of weak men
ya spirit sustains men ‘til the day of redemption.

Ay yo I know what the Word say
But I’m fessin’ up. I’m messin’ up livin’ the world’s way
And I know sin can’t control me or hold me
But I’m having difficulty livin’ holy
And that’s real. ‘Bout as real as it’s gonna get.
Sometimes, man I feel like I just wanna quit
And to add insult to injury
I’m tryin’ to fight my flesh and plus resist the enemy
And dying to self is harder than I thought
I faced even more temptation the harder that I fought
I’m learning to live this Christian life on my knees
You dead wrong if you think the Christian life is a breeze
But I know I got the victory
Cuz I repented when the comforter came and convicted me
God is into
Conforming us to His Son’s image. Until He finishes, the saga continues

Have mercy oh Lord I feel the heat
although the spirit is willing my physique is weak
please fill the void and restore my faith
bring back the joy of me seeking your face
I purposed in my heart to serve and trust you
walk upright live truth obey you
but the more I try it seems the harder I fall
in a race of endurance man I tend to stall
Christian this is as real as it gets
ya faith is strengthened daily so daily strive to carry
out the plan of God ordained for us
before the world was framed he arranged for us
to go thru knowing your outcome
as you go thru out comes everything that’s unlike Him
in salvation you a work in progress
he will finish what he starts endure the process
Ephesians chapter 2 you made alive in Christ
in this chapter of life you’re positioned right
you know a distinguished life don’t relinquish light
when your spirit gets weak man trust his might
tell a friend if you’re anchored right
you'll be encouraged walk upright live as the bride of Christ
God’s grace is sufficient live in submission
His spirit sustains men till the day of redemption

Christian this is real as it gets
your faith is strengthened daily so endure the test
renewing the mind of Christ to resist the flesh
with a will to live peculiar despite the rest
at the cross we find grace the blood of Christ defines
who we are as righteous men among sinful kind
believer we cross the line it’s but a few times
a just man get’s up with the right mind.

a good day

it's been a good day. got up and played bball this morning. my knee was bothering me during the week for no apparent reason. my wife thinks it's wear and tear and the weather. i started off kinda shaky the first two games but played well the last two games.

i came home and had breakfast with the family, then we let jr. around outside for a while. we came in and put the crib together and moved the dresser/changing table up to the boys room. jr. is also sleeping in his "big boy" bed now and we have our bed to ourselves. that's good cuz the wife is 7 months now and is expanding, lol.
he still wakes up during the early morning hours, but overall he's been doing well.

they're up taking a nap, and i'm getting some quiet time. aaahhh!! i guess we'll eat dinner a little after they get up, clean up and put him to bed not long after. the little man hasn't been too testy today. a little challenging but he kept it together for the most part. i say that with the biggest smile because he is such a character!!

the last few days have been trying, spiritually speaking, but i've been trying to keep my head in the Word. my verse for the week has been "So I say, live by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature". ~ Gal. 5:17.
the words, "you will not" stood out to me. He doesn't say, you might not, but you will not, a definitive statement. so i decided to memorize just that verse, and focus on the fact that if i live by the Spirit and learn what it means to live by the Spirit, i will not gratify those desires. it's still not easy, but i've been trying to stand on that verse alone when i'm tempted. my plan is to memorize the verses that follow possibly verse by verse to let as much as i can soak in. its a thought.

well, the little man and mom are up now so i'm gonna sign off and hang out with them.

habits

i'm a creature of habit. i've come to realize that recently, or i've just gotten to be that way over the years. being that way has it's pros and cons. some pros are that i always know where things are. for example, i have a basket where i put my cell, wallet, pager, watch, cash and loose change. my keys always get hung up on the key hooks by the door. i got the basket cuz i was tired of looking for those things when i had to go out or was leaving for work in the morning. if something is not where it's supposed to be, it makes it easier for me to retrace my steps and find it, because i have an easier time remembering what i did different from the normal routine. that alone, relieves some stress. the one major con is if i do something majorly different than the norm, i might not be able to find my keys or phone and i'll have no idea what i did with them the day before. of course i'll only realize this as i'm about to walk out the door.

sometimes, the sins that i'm so frustrated with are done out of habit. i hate that. the flesh is such a monster, and the more you feed it, the bigger it gets. i think i have a much better understanding of what the scriptures meant when we're told not to give the devil a foothold (ephesians 4:27). when you allow a sin to become habitual, you've given him that foothold. one definition for foothold is "A firm or secure position that provides a base for further advancement." further advancement in the believers case, pushes him/her further away from God, and that's what the devil wants. it'll be awhile before i get it, but i'm slowly learning that i have to form other habits to combat the sin in my life so it becomes less and less habitual. i'm still trying to do too much on my own, need to place my confidence in the Lord and follow the precepts He laid out to resist temptation. i'm hating my flesh more and more and i find myself thinking that more and more. my bros and sisters in the faith tell me that's a good thing. hopefully i'll be able to learn how to die to myself daily. that's a theme in alot of music that i listen to and sometimes the concept seems so foreign to me. well not foreign, but like alot of work LOL. whew!! but the reward is worth the work right? i know that that closer i get to the Lord, things that are not pleasing to Him will become less and less desirable and the more i rely on Him for my strength in the battle against the flesh, hopefully it'll feel like less work.

My Prayer

(taken from part of Lifetime Gaurantee's devotional for today, these words express my thoughts and prayers... )

Lord, I long to know You better. I realize that this deep desire will be fulfilled as I spend time with just You. That doesn't mean having my Bible open in front of me at all times. It means being together, talking, laughing, crying, observing, walking leisurely holding hands. I don't want to read my Bible to meet the goal of "reading through the Bible this year;" I don't want to spend hours to impress others with my Bible knowledge; I don't want to have a disciplined time of study so I can check it off as an accomplished goal. No. I want to spend time with You because I want to know You and all Your intricacies. You have very painstakingly told me all about Yourself in Your Word, having others record Your innermost thoughts and Your visions. I read what they have recorded and then You and I talk about it-sitting out in the swing, working on the lawn, washing the dishes. We simply talk. We spend time together. You know me. I want to know You. I love you, Lord.
The Lord says: Let not the wise man bask in his wisdom, nor the mighty man in his might, nor the rich man in his riches. Let them boast in this alone: That they truly know Me . . . . Jeremiah 9:23

spending time with God

Godzheart left a comment regarding my last post, saying that i was so blessed to be able to spend so much time with the Lord. well, one of my devotional reads for today was on just that.

"Jesus our Lord is always with us whether life is hectic or calm, but there
is great value in taking time each day to walk the quiet road with Him."

the author also asks himself "How often do I travel the quiet road with Jesus? Do I exit the fast lane of my responsibilities and concerns to focus my attention on Him for a time each day?" i'm trying to exit the fast lane on a daily basis...or at least start my day out with Him as my focus before entering the fast lane. we have one life to live and we know it. if you're a believer, it becomes vital to spend time reading His Word and spending time with Him. He's our shelter from this world, our refuge. hmmm, a light just came on. well, i just thought of David and when he was on the run. he thought of God as his refuge to hide from his enemies. this world is our enemy in alot of ways and we need to turn to our refuge to refresh us and carry us through. we do have the time, we just need to learn how to manage it and make Him a very important part of our day. i'm learning that, now...i just need to apply what i'm learning. God is good, He's shaping me. Praise God for His love and patience!! the first song on my radio blog called the preciousness of time that speaks just to time and how important it is to make use of it well.

also, check out Lifetime Guarantee's devotional for today. it's about how Jesus goes before the Father for us. our creater goes to bat for us!!

33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us - Romans 8:33-34

joy joy joy deep in my heart...deep in my heart

"Joy comes from the Lord who lives in us, not from what’s happening around us"
That's a quote from my devotion this morning. i have a inner joy going on today. and i know its from having a closer walk with God. even if it's just in this moment or today, it's there. i'm very happy to be doing the Rendezvous series and have been looking forward to spending that quiet time with the Lord in the mornings. there has definetly been more of an inner peace with me lately. God is good, and i thank Him for his mercies, cuz they're new every morning!! it's just a relief to not feel like i was awhile back, stuck in the muck and mire of sin. the workbook for the Rendezvous series has been pretty challenging for me with some of the questions it asks, and it causes you to really examine your relationship with Christ. i've been doing the reading from the book, the study guide and my own personal devotions in the mornings seperate from the book. i hope to grow from this and to encourage others if i can.

people say that God is there...actually God says He's there, even in the small stuff. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. - (Matthew 10:29)

sometimes when i'm listening to my mp3 player, and this morning was an example, it's like God has a special playlist ready for me to listen to. my player has over 2200 tracks on it and 95% of it is christian music, and i usually have it playing on "shuffle all", so i never know what's next. but man, i'm telling you, sometimes the order of songs are either songs that i love or sometimes, they're songs that one after another touch on something i'm going through or have a message i needed to hear that day or right at that moment. this morning on the way in was one of those morning. i was just feeling like praising God for this inner peace i had because of my confidence in His faithfullness and patience. and the songs, one after the other were praise themed songs, and they just went with what i was thinking and feeling. it's happened often enough that i wonder if He's that involved in even the smallest details of our lives. i've mentioned it before where the same thing happens with the devotionals i'd read for the day, and the thing is i read two different ones from two different sites. gotta wonder. at any rate i thank Him for leading me to find good christian music, that helps me to keep my mind stayed on Him.

new music

added some new music to the music blog. i've been in a praise and worship mood the last coupla days, so these songs reflect that. the lyrics do, the style of music may not to some people.

Living as Children of Light

Paul instructs us to no longer live as the gentiles who were darkened in their understanding and seperated from the life of God because of the ignorance that was in them due to the hardening of their hearts. these same gentiles lost all sensitivity and gave themselves over to every kind of impurity with a continual lust for more. Ephesians 4:17-19

Paul actually insists that we don't live like this. i think i've had the idea in my head for the longest time that having a heart that desires to live for God would "just happen". i didn't realize how much i am responsible for. Paul says that we are taught with regard to our former way of life to put off our old self, which is being corrupted by it's deceitful desires and to be made new in the attitudes of our minds and to put on the new self created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4: 20-24. That statement infers that it's something we can do, it's a change of attitude.

Verses 25 thru 32 go on to give more instruction on putting off old behaviors that do not reflect the love of Christ. the thing that struck me for the first time this morning is that these are behaviors that we have to decide to change. there's no swallowing a magic pill and puff, those behaviors are gone! or even just throwing up a prayer to God to have Him change your attitude with nothing being done on our part. we have to purposely set out to change. in my reading from our Rendezvous material, the author compares our relationship with Christ to a garden and the work it takes to grow as a Christian. "we must tend to our heart and life daily to guard against intruders creeping up from within and hindering our spirtual growth and effectiveness".

we have to remember that we can't do it on our own, and that we need the Holy Spirit to help strengthen us. also seeing that Jesus didn't face the temptations in the desert alone was another eye opener. i mean, i'd read it many times before but a "light" came on this time. He had the Holy spirit with him and angels ministered to Him later. "We have the Holy Spirit just as Jesus did. The Spirit lives in our hearts, empowers our efforts, and directs our steps."

i thought i'd just share how my eyes were opened to the fact that we have alot to do with changing internally, alot more than i realized anyway. it is hard work, but it can be done with the help of the Holy Spirit.

verse of the day

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:10

Rendezvous

our church is starting a 40 day program called Rendezvous...a Sacred Encounter with God. actually, alof Nazaren churches are participating. the idea of the program is to help encourage people to turn their relationship with Christ into a more intimate one than it currently is. we'll be doing our reading during the week, then meet on sunday evenings to discuss the prior week's reading. i'm looking forward to it. my wife and i will both going, so i'm hoping it'll bring Christ more into focus in our marriage. one reason i'm looking forward to it is to be able to just talk about God and living this christian life with other believers. i think i'd like to be in the kind of community where we're really keeping each other accountable. encouragement, edification, praying for each other, sharing our struggles, all that good stuff. i dunno, does that kind of community really exist? you know, the kind where you say to someone, "hey, the other day i was reading proverbs and this verse really stuck out to me." ...and it turns into a good convo, and thats the norm. i hunger for that sometimes. today i think i'm feeling that way.

so far it's been pretty quiet today at work, and i think i'm gonna spend some time reading and in prayer. what i'll read, i dunno. maybe i'll continue my reading of Chronicles, not sure. maybe i'll find something to study, so lost when it comes to personal bible study, but i wouldn't mind starting one. speaking of study, my pastor and i will start meeting after the Rendezvous program completes. man, i can't describe the desire to live for God that's in me sometimes! it can be so frustrating at times, cuz i'm so weak. i need to learn how to live out 2 Corinthians 12:9: 9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." spending more time in the Word, and less talk and more walk lol. i'm working on it. that's why i think a consistent community presence would be good in my life, any believers life for that matter. it may happen some day. ok, off to do something...work i guess. ugh

talking with friends about God

have you ever tried talking to someone, a friend about God? especially when that friend doesn't attend church and doesn't consider themselves to be "religious"? i have a friend who i ride the commuter rail to work with just about every morning and we had our first "religious" discussion. i think it went very well.

we were having a convesation about how sedentary kids are today and how much we walked when we were growing up. i brought up walking everywhere and church was one of the places i walked to often. somehow the conversation turned to her not going to church very often and not considering herself to be very religious. i told her how i didn't consider myself to be religious and that i felt that word wasn't an accurate description of a believer. i said it much differently of course. i think i gave a general description of the difference between being "religious" and how being a believer is less about you and more about God. your view of life is based more on living a lifestyle that is pleasing to God. how you treat others, your own personal behavior, living a lifestyle that is obedient to God. don't know if i used the word obedient, but she got the idea of what i was saying. and it was received well. we also got into why some people view Catholics as not being Christian. i mostly touched on confession and how for Christians, Christ removed the need for a priest and is our bridge to God. i also talked about the sacrificial system of the Jews in the OT and how Christ was the ultimate sacrifice and became our mediator.

i kept it pretty general i think, but gave enough detail to possibly open her mind a little more than it is. prior to the conversation getting deeper she had mentioned wanting to eventually go back to church. so there was opportunity and it wasn't the first time that church came up, but the first time we talked at length. i'm glad that it wasn't an uncomfortable convo between friends. when i think about it, alot of topics came up and i think she came away with a better understanding of some things.

we kinda moved on from there but it went very well and i'm hoping that some things piqued her interest or changed her view a little on church. the term "organized religion" came up and i explained that it really should be more of a community of people who believe the same thing and are coming together to support each other. in essences that what church is. i think when people use the term "organized religion", their feelings are that it's almost cult-like and people involved in organized religion aren't thinking on their own.

recent newz

so we had our echocardiogram and everything looked good. the only thing left will be ultra-sounds. so hopefully we'll enjoy the journey a little more with some of that stuff behind us.

our first little man has been driving us crazy!! it's comical when i think of it. probably the typical two and a half year old behavior. but man, he's testing every ounce of patience i have...lol. meanwhile, the wife is nesting and i'm caught up in the whirlwind. which i like, cuz i like having the place in order and right now it's getting straightened up. it's becoming more and more of a reality, especially with her showing earlier this pregnancy. very excitiing....i'm just rambling..i'm sorry.

i feel blessed, despite the struggle. and at times, it's more apparent to see how some can compare our realtionship with God to a romance. the way He persues us. sometimes it's hard to see it that way. at least it is for me. then it comes to me in a subtle way. truths about His character. things i've read in His word and then i realize that it's a truth in my life. very hard to explain. well, mr. "it's my world" is up from his nap and it would be futile to try and do any blogging with his expanding world envading mine. so till next time.

question

why do we resist God? better yet, why as believers do we resist? why do we "return to our vomit"? (As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly. -proverbs 26:11). i hate this law that works inside me...(So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. - romans 7:21)

encouraged

once again i've been encouraged when least expecting it. Granny B left a comment that encourages me to keep pressing on with expressing myself through this blog. and i went to visit her site today and her post titled "You are Worthy" was something i needed to read today. been feelin' pretty defeated lately. and it so happens to go along with today's verse of the day which is: " 35 So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. 36 You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." - Hebrews 10:35-36 thanks again for stopping by.

last week was a pretty stressful week for me. mostly work stress, printers going down, a pc getting a virus (and the pc belongs to a needy doc), more printers going down. i also had a unpleasant experience at bball and that had me all fired up. someone had something to say and i didn't like how it was done and it just took all the air outta my sails, as well as making me very angry. i was so overwhelmed by thursday, i was trying to mentally process too much information at one time and it got to me. the printer issues had been resolved by the end of the day thursday, by almost the end of the day on friday i was able to resolve the virus issue, and on saturday morning i talked to the guy who's approach i didn't appreciate at bball and was feeling better by the end of the day. we made it out to church on sunday, and it was good to be there and be around other believers. we'll be starting a new 40 day program at the church in Oct. called Rendevous, where we'll be meeting in small groups doing a study on having a more intimate relationship with Christ. i signed us up for it and i'm looking forward to it. i still plan on getting together with the pastor for personal studies, just have to work out the where and when.

i'm hoping for a less stressed week this week. i'm also hoping to get some things organized. we have so much to organize, just finding where to start is tough. my wife works nights, three 12 hour shifts a week, and they're not always the same night. that makes getting things done around the house tough. i work days five days a week, she's almost 6 months pregnant, throw in a very very active 2 and 1/2 yr old and BAM, the apartment you just cleaned is a mess...a day and a half later! i'm working on it though, we both are.

well, i've survived another day at work, gonna be heading soon. i'm working on putting some new songs on the radio blog. i recently made a mix for my sis and i'm going to put that up. this is a cd meant to encourage her and it's a praise and worship theme. i believe she can really use the encouragement right now, she's been going through some financial difficulty. i should be back soon to blog some more, possibly tonight, but it's doubtful. after i put the little man to bed, it should be time for the season premiere of Heroes on NBC!!! ok, off to catch my train.

it's been a minute...or two

sorry i haven't updated recently (to my legions of readers lolol). to be honest i haven't felt much like blogging and so much has been going on. on the good news front...we're having a baby!! my wife is now 5 months pregnant and of course we're very excited!! we've been keepin' it kinda hush hush, cuz in nov of 06 she had an ectopic pregnancy and it was rough on her and we were pretty nervous about how this pregnancy was gonna go. BUT, we had faith that whatever way it went, it was in God's hands and we know that we had to trust Him. she has been very sick during this pregnancy, for the entire 5 months! whew!! throw in some raging hormones and one can imagine that things have been a little rough. Also, due to her age, blood tests were being done for Downs Syndrome, but the labs and dr. offices were sending the blood draws to the wrong places, or doing the wrong tests, so it's been a little stressful. we even changed OB's in the beginning cuz they couldn't handle what they called "high risk", but we still had to deal with that office since they did the blood draws. this time around things have been much different from when we had our first child. she didn't have any morning sickness then, no nasaue, no heartburn, nothin', nada. she's been experiencing all of that and more with this one, but she's been feeling much better since sunday. we're having a boy by the way.

i guess you can say as usual i've been struggling. struggling with obedience, consistency in my walk, faithfulness. i haven't started my study with my pastor yet, actually haven't spoken to him since early in the summer. mostly due to the summer schedule and we figured once the summer was over we'd have a better grip on our schedules. but i think i'd like to have someone to study with, chop it up with besides the pastor, maybe someone closer to my age. i dunno. i've been reading alot of "debates" on a site, mostly around calvinism and frankly i'm tired of the debates. and to some degree i have a problem with debating over theology. probably because i've seen it turn into personal attacks and i don't think that was what the bible was written for. i understand the need to contend for the truth, but the personal attacks is what bothers me the most, as well as the tone of some of the posters. it's demeaning and just doesn't come across as Christ-like, and please don't come at me debating the meaning of love and saying things with love. there is an obvious difference between how some people express things and it's just not done with love. also, claiming that Christ spoke to so and so in this manner doesn't excuse how someone else expresses themselves and/or presents the scriptures.

anyway, i think my other name is "Isreal" - struggles with God. i think on some levels that's why i don't post often. i feel like, who'd wanna read this?? "does this guy ever feel good about his relationship with God??" "this is depressing" "he needs to stop talkin about it and be about it". well, anyway, i'll be trying to post more often. i'm going to try and post just about happenings in my life in general, things i'm observing and of course this spiritual struggle. man, sometimes it really feels like a battle!!

God is still working on me though and i know He's been putting people in my path (believers) at work. We talk from time to time about the Christian walk and/or scripture and what we've learned from it. i'm still making mix cd's for Christians and non Christians to encourage them and just to show there's an alternative to listen to and it's God glorifying. Funny....i don't even listen to the radio anymore and don't keep up with what's going on. Ever since getting introduced to The Crossmovement in '02....i think that's when i found out about them. anyway, i'm hoping that someone may end up feeling the same way about secular music and turn from it to listen to music that talks about our Creator after hearing a mix cd or two that i give them. ok, gotta get back to work. Special shout out to Godzheart! thanks for keeping up and commenting, just when i'm thinking about giving up on this blogging thing, you leave a comment and it's mad encouraging. God bless you!!

an update

for anyone who may read this from time to time. things are going well. went on vacation about a week after my last post. we went to a family reunion and my wife's family got to meet our little man for the first time. it was a real good time and he did well for his first time taking a long trip by car. in other news, i've transitioned over to a "new" job. the company i was contracted out to absorbed some of us after ending the contract. i'm doing the same thing as before, just working for the company now, instead of being contracted out.

i had a difficult time getting back into work mode and back into reading my Bible. i went on vacation hoping to have lots of quiet time to spend with the Lord and it didn't work out that way. i could have made more of an effort, but i didn't and don't want to offer any excuses. and so it just went downhill from there. i'm just now getting back into doing my morning devotions, praying and having the correct mindset. it had been bothering me that i wasn't doing any of that stuff, but i wouldn't do anything about it. but i noticed that i was getting back to being the old me. the fuse on my temper was shorter, i was becoming more and more withdrawn and i could just feel a disconnect between me and God. so after a few weeks of not really seeking Him out, i did a morning devotion and of course it spoke to what i was going through, and the one thing i took from it was that was 1.) there is no hiding from God (i was trying to avoid Him) and 2.) fellowhip with God is just a prayer away. hopefully there was some growth during that time, or a lesson learned from not spending time talking to the Lord on the regular. actually i know that i learned that i need Him just to maintain. it's amazing how much one's personality can change in just a few days of now fellowshiping with Him.
i don't know if i've mentioned it before, but i've made plans with my pastor to start doing a Bible Study with him. not sure yet if it'll be a specific book, but i know i'll have alot of questions for him before we even get to studying. i also know i want to get real deep with it, studying the greek and hebrew, times, places and the culture of the people during that time. all to get a better understanding of the context of scripture and what is really being said. my hope is it will bring me into a closer walk and more consistent devotion. so pray for me. that's it for now, i have some other news but i'll hold off on that for awhile. hopefully i'll get back to being more consistent with blogging. part of the reason that i know i'm not consistent was because i was hoping to have more interaction with others through my blog, but it hasn't happened. at times i'm tempted to make this a private blog, but i'll hold off for now. that's all for now.

confession IS good for the soul

you know, it's amazing what prayer does for one internally. most times when i struggle in my walk i don't wanna talk to God. probably cuz of shame and frustration that i'm coming to Him again asking for forgiveness for the same thing. what will happen then is i'll start feeling less and less of any connection to Him and it'll start eating away at me. this could go on for days, then probably due to the Lord's relentlessness i come to Him, confess, repent and ask for continued grace and His strength to carry me through. man, the weight gets lifted!! i start to realize it later as the day goes on. don't get it twisted, things are still on my mind, but i don't have the "black cloud" over my head. a friend of mine said, in the past, it was like i had a black cloud over me when he'd see me, even in church. i used to just wallow in it too, not necessarily in a sad way, but i lived in that cloud and kinda enjoyed it. it was protection. kept people out of my buisness and getting too close. whew...i'm glad that's not the case anymore. trying to live for the Lord, instead of self....what a difference it makes! life has a MUCH different perspective when you're focused more on God and living a life that's pleasing to Him. so i encourage anyone who may read this. PRAY. i need to do much more of it myself, but it is such a help. think about it, the God who created you wants to hear from you, wants to instruct you on how to live this life, and he gives us a means to reach Him!! amazing. amazing grace!!

not a horror story

Check out this testimony. it's a blog entry with diamone's testimony. i read it earlier this morning and can't quite remember what made me want to share this. one thing that caught me was she said "But with all the knowledge of the faith, I still didn't get the reality in the depth of God's love and grace for me." that struck me cuz my desire to know God is growing and i want to be more knowledgable about Him, about doctrine, theology, church history, biblical history....i'm sure i could go on. but at the same time, i don't want the thirst for knowledge to keep me from truely getting to know Him and living for Him. anyway, it's a good read and her previous entry is very good too.
by the way diamone appears on trip lee's If They Only Knew album on the song More and on lecrae's After the Music Stops album on the song Invisible. at first i wasn't sure if i was feelin' her voice, but after a few listens i came to like the uniqueness of her voice. i'll be looking forward to an album from her.

new song

got a new song up on the blog. it's called 9-10 and it's by Tonic from The Cross Movmement of their latest cd History. one of my favorites so far off the album, very good lyrics. listen carefully.

feeding the flesh...

here's a pretty cool illustration on the subject: feeding the flesh

now this is a love song

these are the lyrics from fred hammonds "your love is" from the "somethin' 'bout love" album. i cry almost every time i hear this song cuz it reminds me that no matter how frustrated i get, God is there with me, and that He wants nothing but the best for me and loves me with a love that i can't even begin to understand. His love is always...
for now, this is the last song on my radioblog


[Pre-Chorus]
Beyond what I can think
You go beyond my hopes and highest expectations
The love You've shown on Calvary
Forever, always
Pursuing me
Relentlessly
I'm crying please

[Chorus]
Open up the heavens (Open up the heavens)
Let me feel Your shower (Let me feel Your shower)
The shower of Your presence
Every moment of each hour
Lord here's my hand (Lord here's my hand)
Cover me and (Cover me and)
Take me beyond
What I understand

[Verse 1]
Your love is greater than my thoughts-deeper, higher
Brighter than my hopes-burns like fire
Lighting up my soul-You inspire
Your love is always
Always moving me to tears-overflowing
Just like a waterfall-keeps on going
The wonderful thing about Your love-keeps me knowing

[Repeat Pre-Chorus 1x]

[Repeat Chorus 1x]

[Verse 2]
Your love is greater than my thoughts-deeper, higher
Brighter than my hopes-burns like fire
Lighting up my soul-You inspire
Your love is always
Always moving me to tears-overflowing
Just like a waterfall-keeps on going
The wonderful thing about Your love-keeps me knowing

[Pre-Vamp]
It's renewing and refreshing (That's what Your love is)
Vital and life-giving (That's what Your love is)
Comforting and blessing (That's what Your love, that’s what Your love, that’s what Your love)
A place where I can run to (That's what Your love is)
A tower and a shelter (That's what Your love is)
Forgiving us forever (That's what Your love, that’s what Your love)
That's what Your love is, Your love is

[Vamp A]
Renewing and refreshing
Vital and life-giving
Comforting and blessing
That's what Your love is
A place where I can run to
A tower and a shelter
Forgiving us forever
That's what I'm talking 'bout

[Repeat Vamp A 1x]

[Vamp B]
Whenever I feel Your love on me
The tears begin to flow
I let myself go
And then I know
Your love is here, Your love, oh Lord
Whenever I feel Your warm embrace
Like the warm sun on my face
Your presence in this place
It lets me know Your love is here, Your love

some new music for me

today i picked up Lisa McClendon's Soul Music, Yolanda Adam's Mountain High...Valley Low, CeCe Winans Purified and Charles&Taylor self-titled cd. yesterday i picked up Fred Hammond's Somethin' 'bout Love. very nice cd, been playin it all day. a co-worker even commented on how nice the music was. the best part about the cd's i pickup today is that they were all 10 bucks! can't wait to check 'em all out and right now, charles & taylor is being ripped to my creative zen vision: m, love this little device!!

i wish i had a childlike heart

How would a child come to God? With no reservations, no preconceived fears or doubts.

***
"Looking up" to Him -- from a child's perspective.He is big and I am little.
He is strong. I am weak. He will hold me in His arms. He will hold my hand. He will know what to do. . . .
Ready to listen and to ask questions,
but not to express his views or to argue with Him about His views. Giving Him the responsibility of caring for him. Indeed, expecting Him to care for him. Trusting Him to care for him.
Reaching out to touch Him.
Holding His hand for security and comfort.
Resting in His lap.
Putting his arms around His neck.
Being excited to see Him and be with Him.
Knowing that He is wiser than he is.
Knowing that He is stronger than he is.
***
but i struggle. i question. i get frustrated with this walk and my unfaithfulness and my disobedience. like b.morr says, my only consistency is my inconsistency. i desire a closer walk but haven't put out the effort necessary. i don't read His word every day, i don't pray nearly as often as i should. i don't meditate on His word. so how can i expect to have this closer walk?!?! i was telling my pastor that i'm the guy at the pool who only puts his toe in the water but doesn't jump in. i need to emerse myself in His Word. that would probably help with this battle that goes on in my heart/head.
i keep getting in the way. instead of saying "here i am Lord and i submit, please take over my life" i'm saying "i gotta work on this first, then get rid of this, then that, then i'll be ready and acceptable."
man, i just wanna love God, and truely appreciate Him. sometimes i feel so alone in this struggle. i know i'm not, but it feels like i'm fighting this fight alone and no one can relate. it's not too often you hear of people who struggle and admit it out loud. i'm hoping that God will open a door for me to find other believers to share our struggles and to encourage each other.
i could cry. just walking in to work this morning, i felt like i could have started crying in the middle of all the people around me. that's how frustrated i am. (i said i was going to be more transparent didn't i?)
the one thing that really bugs me is that the closer i try to get to Him, the harder it gets. the more i try, it seems more obstacles or stumbling blocks pop up. things that test my patience, or my ability to respond in a Christ-like manner. well, for now, i've run out of words on this topic.

***paraphrased from wednesday's devotional at lifetime guarantee ministries***

blah

feeling very blah today. i have so much going on in my head, it's almost overwhelming. someone...actually a neighbor broke into our apt yesterday and we're pretty sure we know who and it makes me so angry cuz we have no proof, but we know by what was taken, and believe me, it was nothing of value and just made it more obvious who it was. my screen on the screen door is ruined and the back door is no longer secure. and this just adds to the stock pile of things on my mind. and the old me wants to rage and make subtle threats out loud. be cold to everyone in the apt tenament because of the one person (most of the other tenants are related)
i'm tired. mentally, physically, emotionally. i'm gaining unwanted weight and feeling almost powerless about it. that's it for now, gotta run. but i needed to vent.

pluck 'em!

the summer is here and i want to pluck my eyes out!


47 And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell - Mark 9:47

thoughts on holiness

recently i've been thinking about holiness and what it means to be holy. it's a tall order no doubt, but i always have to remember that my strength comes from Him and He carries me through. so i have to remind myself to rely on Jesus to live a holy life. that being said, i've been thinking also about reverence to God and realizing how holy He is. and that is difficult for me to grasp at this point. He is so holy, yet He loved me so much that He took on human form to save me from His wrath?

"Let me ask you if you seemed confused with this
God passed through His own creature's uterus
and I admit this is odd, but the Bible can persuade me
an Omnipotent God was crying as a baby? " *

i don't know if i'm making what i'm saying clear enough, but it's hard to imagine that the same God who created me, died for me. the same God who is so Holy. and what does it mean to be holy? like what does that really mean? and God is so holy that one sin is an offense to Him?! and it's punishable by death??? wow. that's some standard.

my prayers have been for God to keep the hunger growing in me to know Him and to keep me desiring to live a life that is pleasing to Him. and recently i've taken some steps to take have a deeper walk with Him. i'll talk about that in another post. so more and more my mind has been on holiness and what it means to be holy because it is required of us; "But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy." - I Peter 1:15-16. by God's grace, i will be able to meet this requirement.

*Timothy Brindle - "The Humility of Christ" from the Killing Sin album.

ummm...ya

Aslan?!?
i saw this on another blog and had to post it!


that's crazy!!

some early morning thoughts

it amazes me sometimes that alot of times the devotions that i do in the mornings speak to or touch on things i'm feeling or thinking about. below are some paraphrased excerps from this morning's devotional:

You lightly broke your solemn vows to me,
yet I will keep the pledge I made to you when you were young.
I will establish an everlasting covenant with you forever.
Ezekiel 16: 59-60 TLB

i see myself in that verse of scripture. numerous times since the day I gave my life over to Christ, with tears and sincere regret, i've renewed that solemn vow—only to "lightly break that vow" again in a time of frustration, anger, self-protection, weariness, or doubt.
But the Person with whom I made that agreement when I was twelve years old says, "It's all right, andrew (that's me hint hint, there's some transparency right there, my real name!!). I'm not going to back out of the covenant we made. I'm going to keep all of My promises to you. We're different—You and me. You can trust Me, dear one. I won't break the vows I made with you."
in a marriage when things aren't going well, sometimes one of the twosome is trying—everything possible—to make the marriage work, to make it the beautiful relationship that God created it to be. but for that to happen, both of them have to commit themselves to trying to make their union something special, and then beauty begins to come. then love is renewed. then the relationship becomes all that it is supposed to be.
in my covenant with the Lord, He is doing His very best to make our relationship all that He longs for it to be. i'm the one putting sand in the gears. i'm the one who is chasing other ways for fulfillment and I confess, "It's me, Lord. And I am so sorry."
thank You for being the Person of integrity that You are. Your love, your faithfulness, your dedication to me are absolutely marvelous!

Your steadfast love, O Lord, is as great as all the heavens.(That's beyond our ability to grasp, isn't it?)Your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds.(Beyond the clouds? No way can I imagine that.)Your justice is as solid as God's mountains.(I have never analyzed the "solidness" of a mountain, have you?)Your decisions are as full of wisdom as the oceans are with water.(Quite a comparison, isn't it?)You are concerned for men and animals alike.How precious is Your constant love, O God!Psalm 36: 5-7 (TLB)

What seems to be a minor infraction to me—lightly breaking the solemn vow I made with You—is a very major infraction with You. Help me to see that, Lord.

most of this was taken from today's devotion at Lifetime Guarantee Ministries

that pretty much sums up what some of my thoughts were this morning on the train ride into work. isn't it great that God keeps His promises and that He's faithful despite our unfaithfulness?? more and more those minor infractions are becoming more like major infractions to me and i'm taking it alot more seriously. got work to get to, i'll be back to comment on psalm 36:5

i wish

i wish i wrote as well as i speak. it's easier to speak what i'm thinking then it is to write it and make it sound good, or to flow well. i think when i write i tend to try to write like i talk and it doesn't always come out right or doesn't sound like i wanted it to. hopefully that'll improve in time.

a random thought

As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things. Ecclesiastes 11:5.
speaking of way of the master, there was a debate recently with Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort vs. two athiests on proving the existence of God. looking at today's verse it reminded me of the debate and as a believer, i just wonder what makes people think there is no God. it's not like those who don't believe decided "hey, i wanna be born today, or better yet...i wanna be conceived today. know what i mean? you can't even explain how you got here, but you can tell us there is no God? that's a random thought right there. i could go on, but i have work to get back to. but isn't it interesting? you have no control of when you're born into this world and really no control over when you leave it, but you're sure there is no way that God had anything to do with it. i could go on. maybe in another post, that's a topic that could be discussed for pages.

random thoughts

so on the way in this morning, i was thinking that i'd try posting more of my random thoughts. alot of times i have plenty of thoughts running through my head and i wonder if other people think similarily. sometimes they're in the form of questions or just things i'd like to wonder out loud, so maybe i'll start "wondering out loud" here. anyway, we'll see how that goes. i think it'll help me to open up and to be a little more revealing about myself and this walk i'm on.

there's some new music up on the radio blog, i've got some new music i've purchased and some of it's up on the radio. i'll list some of the new stuff later, got some work to get to. by the way, i'm listening to way of the master and they had an interesting street interview today. they interviewed a man who's never sinned! he said he's never lied, or lusted after a woman, never used God's name in vain and wasn't disobedient with his parents! it was an interesting interview

don't call it a come back...

i been here for years....nahh..just playin....but i'm getting the blog bug again...kinda sorta. so hopefully i'll be back to posting more. and i hope to be more transparent (oy).

blog construction

ok, so it doesn't look any different now, but i had a blogger template up and didn't like it so i went back to the latest template. i've been working on one for a few weeks now but the new blogger doesn't work well with it, or i just haven't figured it out. i don't really have much time to invest in figuring out how to change the template to the one i have. i'm ready for a change though, a different look. maybe if i ever get some time on the weekend i can spend some serious time working on it. until then, i'll stick with this one.

please excuse

the appearance of my blog, i'm in the middle of changing my template, i've actually been working on it for a couple of weeks now, when i've had the time that it is. alot of this design stuff is just a hobby for me so i'm learning as i go. i have ideas in my head of what i want and i have a template designed, it's now a matter of getting it to work. hopefully i'll be able to put some thoughts down once i've got the template completely up and running.

examine yourself

"Are you a Christian? Many people who claim to be point to some event in the past to substantiate their claim. But inviting Jesus to come into your life in the past is not proof that you are genuinely saved. In 2 Corinthians 13:5 Paul says to the Corinthian church, "Examine yourselves, whether you are in the faith; prove yourselves (emphasis added)." He wouldn't have said that if some event in the past were obviously the answer. The Bible never verifies anyone's salvation by the past but by the present. If there is no evidence of salvation in your life now, you need to face the fact that you may not be a Christian. You need to examine yourself to see whether you are in the faith. How does one do that? Jesus shows us in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5‑7). "

this was written by john macarthur over at grace to you. i definetly needed to read this. i've been doing alot of self-examination lately, pretty much daily and this puts alot of things into perspective. read the rest here.

i think i'm gonna use this as a reference, survey, and reminder. man this walk is hard, but i do like that at one point macarthur says;

"No man has the resources within himself to live up to God's standards. That's
why we have to cast ourselves on the mercy of God. The rich young ruler in
Matthew 19 wasn't willing to do that. He wanted to enter the Kingdom but on his
terms. However, that's like trying to put a camel through the eye of a needle.
The only way into the Kingdom is by becoming broken in spirit, mournful, and
eager for a righteousness that you can't attain and don't deserve."

now if i can just get that through my head. i think i keep relying on my own strength. ha...what strength?? my motives too, gotta check those. need to refocus and make sure that motives are for God, to bring pleasure to Him. pray for me fam, cuz i know God has plans for me and i'm searching them out. but i'm also not giving myself to Him fully, not praying like i should be and sincerely seeking my purpose in Him. pray that He gives me His strength and that i truely seek Him and live according to His will for me.

Hehe

recent pickups

my collection is growing, slowly but surely. most recent pickups are metamorphosis by j.r. , i got it for free mixtape by e-pistle, to die is gain by stephen the levite and the great awakening by timothy brindle. to die is gain just got here yesterday, and i ordered it just this past friday!! i'm feelin all of these cd's!! i like metamorphosis even more than i expected. the great awakening is good also, it's an older cd so the beats remind me of an earlier period in hip hop but the cd flows very nicely. that's one thing i'm noticing about the lampmode crew and their cd's. they all flow very smoothly musically. they kinda remind me of some of the rock groups in the 70's that had theme albums, like pink floyd for ex. , i'm just talking flow here, no comparison. the e-pistle joint is hot, i love the beats and lyrics. i love the lyricism on all the above cd's! to some degree these are small sermons and i love how i get fed by these kats. they really help me to examine myself, especially when they're very honest about their own shortcomings and talk about the seriousness of being in a right standing with God. i haven't gotten to really listen to to die is gain fully yet, but from what i've heard i know i'll like it. there's a joint on there called "the darknes",whew, that first line, man those are some powerful lyrics.

so i think my next pickup will be lecrae's joint after the music stops, then possibly trip lee's if they only knew, kingdom people by tedashi and then revolutionary theme muzik by r-swift and i'm thinkin about jacob izreal's joint even louder. i love that song "Godly Life" and "If I should die". his style isn't my usual taste but i like what i've heard so far. these are all on the list and i'm sure there are more i forgot and depending on how i feel, the order may change of which ones i'll get first. ok, got some errands to run.

the parable of the sower

Matthew 13: 3-8 and Matthew 13: 18-23

3Then he told them many things in parables, saying: "A farmer went out to sow his seed. 4As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 5Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. 8Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.

18"Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: 19When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is the seed sown along the path. 20The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. 21But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away. 22The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. 23But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown."

The soil among the thorns represented those who permit the Word of God in their hearts to be choked by the cares and pleasures of the alluring world (vv.7,22).That’s a dangerous possibility for anyone who thoughtlessly responds to God’s Word. The world may induce a forgetfulness of spiritual reality and responsibility.Do we allow the attractions of this world to keep us from reading and meditating on God’s Word? Prayerfully, let us strive to be like the one who “hears the Word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and produces” (v.23).When the sun sets tonight, let it not be said that we have forgotten God —Vernon C Grounds

this was today's devotion at our daily bread today. most of the time when i hear this passage i feel like i'm the one who lets the cares and worries of this world hinder my walk with the Lord. . like i've said before, God's standards are soooo high, it feels impossible to be a good, faithful servant. so much to learn, and i feel overwhelmed by it at times. learning how to let go and say "here Lord, my life is yours, do with it what you please" is hard for me. maybe it's hard for everyone. i don't know that i ever "forget" God, but i do get caught up in the busy-ness of life and when i slow down and think about how God may have different plans for my life, i struggle with trusting him with my whole inner being. trusting in the sense that i know that my way of thinking is not God's and i'd probably want things to be alot easier than how He would go about achieving His purpose in me. it's a battle, cuz at the same time i wanna be closer, i wanna know that God is with me and i'm with Him. i just need to get into His Word more, and to keep mediatating on it.

over at life time guarantee, the devotion for today was taken from Proverbs 4:20-22. anabel breaks down the verses and has a quote from A.W. Tozer which is;
"Spiritual gifts and graces come only to those who WANT them badly enough. It may be said without qualification that every man is as holy and as full of the Spirit as he WANTS to be. He may not be as full as he WISHES he were, but he is most certainly as full as he WANTS to be."

i can identify with that statement. alot of times we know, probably by the Holy Spirit's conviction, that there are areas in our lives that need some serious clean up and that God is not pleased with those areas. but we hold on to them and they stunt our growth in the Lord. since we know that we have these areas to clean up but haven't, in essence we're saying, "ok Lord, i've gotten this far, but this area i'm just not ready to let go off", thus we limit how much more God would bless us. so until we make that needed effort to become even more holy, we're as holy as we wanna be. i'm speaking from experience and hope that as i get closer to the Lord that my desire to be more spiritual and more holy, will push down the worries and cares of life, and it not only becomes a desire but something i strive for. strive: to exert oneself vigorously; try hard; to make strenuous efforts toward any goal.

integrity

For Further Thought
In what ways have I been a person of integrity when it was tough? When have I failed? Whose standards do I live by? What do I need to change?

that was from today's devotional at Our Daily Bread. it was taken from Gen. 39: 1-12, the story of how joseph resisted potipher's wife. joseph was able to resist her because he valued following God's standards. potipher put joseph in charge of everything and trusted him not to touch his wife. i would like to have that kinda integrity and strive more to live according to God's standards even though i know they're very high. but the key word is strive: to exert oneself vigorously; try hard; to make strenuous efforts toward any goal. i need to try harder cuz i'm living by my own standards right now. so i need to change the effort i'm putting in. according to the definition of strive, i'm not making a strenous effort.

for example, this weekend i coulda tried alot harder. i had plenty of free time on my hands but spent it doing things that are definetly below God's standards. but that was yesterday and today is a new day. so far i got the day started off on the right foot by getting myself together last night so this morning wasn't a big rush to get out the door and it worked. and the kitchen is clean. so my next thing will be to pick up the clothes on the floor in my room. trying to set small goals and just to improve myself as a person. i went to the gym last night and had a semi intense workout. gonna take some time to get used to the new gym and the different crowd of people & the different types of machines. but it was a good workout and hopefully i'll be bringing the poundages up soon enough. i started eating right and i think i've dropped some off the love handles i was getting, now i need to start doing more ab work and more cardio. this should help with just playing once a week too. i'll start out with one cardio day a week (not including bball) and see how that works out. last night was tri's and calves, friday will be legs. for now i'll just do squats and hack squats for quads and lying leg curls and SLDL's for hammies. light to mid weight for pounds on all exercises and after the first warm up set, i'll keep the rep ranges between 8-10.
so today i will finish up on putting my memory verses in my new journal (physical not online) and writing some definitions of words that are commonly used in Christendom; also i'll start re-memorizing scripts.

question about the word Glory

glory: from the Latin gloria, "fame, renown is used to denote the manifestation of God's presence in the Judeo-Christian religious tradition. In Hebrew it would probably be the word הוד Hod.


When I looked up the word renown, i got this defintion: a state of being widely acclaimed and highly honored.


I see alot of talk about glory to God and God does things for His glory. so my question is why would God need to get glory from us his creations? i guess as a christian one would already know and understand that since God is the creater of all things, we cannot take credit for anything. so with that understanding why would God need to get the glory or expect praise from us for the things He does? He didn't need us before the foundation of the world, He doesn't need us now, so why would God do things to get glory? God doesn't have to prove Himself to anyone, so i'm not sure i understand the way the word glory is being used in relation to God and Him getting His and doing things to get His. is there anyone that can explain this concept to me?

understand that the question is not out of irreverrance but just a desire to understand better. i've always felt that God wants and desires to have a relationship with us and that is His purpose ultimately. beyond that i can't say why else things go the way they do. and i guess this train of thought was sparked by a question asked about rape and whether or not God ordains, allows or even creates events that would lead to that happening.

edit: also i may need to rephrase the question so it's clearer as to what i mean.