Thursday, September 21, 2006

theology and doctrine hmmm

i've been a believer for quite some time, since i was a young child. but it wasn't until recently that i became aware of theology and doctrine. i mean i've heard those words before, but that's all they were. well not really, i knew they meant something but wasn't sure exactly what and i didn't know their importance. well thanks mostly to alot of the reading i do at holycultureradio.com forum, i'm starting to do some investigating. it's mostly due to alot of the debates that have been going on at the message board, mostly around Calvinism and Arminianism. more of that kinda talk is done at the general theology board. right nowthis one in particular is pretty good and people are talking without throwing insults around. it's a much better read then some of the previous threads. now when it comes to which group i may fall under, i wouldn't say that i am one or the other, but if it came down to it, i'd probably be considered Arminian. some of the discussions that go on at the site, i've had with other friends to some degree, but nothing like these guys. there's alot of talk about church history and stuff i've just never heard of. but just like the discussions i've had with the guys, it's caused me to dig deeper, which is good, cuz i need to spend more time in the Word and in prayer. the good thing about not being involved in the dicusssions on the board for me is that i don't go into the Word with the mindset that i'm gonna prove someone else wrong. i am earnestly seeking though, to see if what this or that person says lines up with Scripture. i'm also just trying to get know God better. it's sooo much though man, all the doctrinal beliefs, alot of heady stuff, lots of terms to learn and some of the writers (writers of doctrine) were from different time periods so i have to get through their different way of speaking or writing as it were. hopefully this lasts for me, cuz i can get really into something then either just drop it or slowly fade out of it. but the desire is there now and it really stems from a desire to know God and to be the man He intends me to be. but it's time to go, gotta train to catch!!

Monday, September 18, 2006

me and the homeless

i have an issue with the homeless that i see pretty much daily during my commute to and from work. first let start off by saying i worked in a homeless shelter for 7yrs. it was a shelter for homeless, mentally ill substance abusers. so i am familiar with the community. most shelters make the clients leave the shelter for the day, usually there's some activities they can go to or other programs. my issue is i see the same homeless people just about everyday in the same spot with their cups out. and i don't know if it's cuz i've experienced that community of people up close or just something ugly inside me but i get kinda angry seeing them there every day. sorry if that sounds harsh. but i saw a dude out there who i've seen for about a year now with new sneakers on! i dunno, but i wonder what my response should be. it's not like i've got money to spare really. i really don't. but at the same time, as a christian how should my heart be responding? it just seems suspect to see them in the same spot every day with their cups out. when it's a game day more homeless come out and they find strategic places to sit. one guy on crutches stands and holds the door to the commuter rail station open with a cup in his other hand. c'mon now, talk about pulling on your heart strings.


Proverbs 21:13
If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor,he too will cry out and not be answered.

Proverbs 28:27
He who gives to the poor will lack nothing, but he who closes his eyes to them receives many curses.

Proverbs 19:17
He who is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward him for what he has done.


my concern is what are they using that money for? i don't want to contribute to any "habits". i don't wanna be one of many being exploited.

i do give though. i don't give as often as i see them, cuz that's every day but i do give and i'd like to be able to give more. or to take someone out to lunch or breakfast. get to know their story maybe. that would be a good thing to do. maybe some day i'll be that kind of person or i'll go with someone else who is. eh who knows. i do know i'd like to not feel such a tug of war when i see a homeless person, not feel so annoyed. i think the work i did in the homeless shelter also effects my thinking and when i remember that alot of them have some sort of mental illness, it's something else to consider. i also know it's by God's grace i'm not in that position and i hope to have a softer heart some day.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Learning To Walk

Today's Devotion from Our Daily Bread

Learning To Walk



I remember those days long ago when our children were learning to walk. First they showed their readiness by pulling themselves up and taking a tentative step or two. My wife and I would reach out our hands and encourage them to walk toward us. We held them up by their hands or by the suspenders on their overalls. We praised every effort and encouraged every attempt. We never grew discouraged, nor did we give up until they learned to walk.

So it is with our heavenly Father: He “taught [Israel] to walk” (Hos. 11:3). He took His children “by their arms” and “drew them with gentle cords, with bands of love” (vv.3-4).

Our heavenly Father stands before us with outstretched arms, encouraging us toward holiness, eager to catch us when we stumble. He picks us up when we fall. He is never discouraged with our progress, nor will He ever give up. The more difficult we find the process, the more care and kindness He expends.

George MacDonald put it this way: “God will help us when we cannot walk, and He will help us when we find it hard to walk, but He cannot help us if we will not walk.” Even though you fall, you must try again. Your Father holds you by the hand. —David H. Roper

Savior, let me walk beside Thee,
Let me feel my hand in Thine;
Let me know the joy of walking
In Thy strength and not in mine. —Sidebotham

We can’t run the Christian race until we learn to walk.

just what i needed to hear today. in my heart i want so badly to live for God. live a life that's pleasing to Him. not one that just appears that way from the outside. i know my heart and it needs work. i keep trying to do it my way and rely on my own strength and i fail every time, and with the quickness too! but i'm trying to communicate more with Him and i feel a strong desire to know Him more, to know what it really means to have the heart and mind of Christ.
i'm getting back into my scripture memorization. at first the verses i was memorizing were about living the christian life, i think now i'm going to try and memorize scripture that speaks of God's love for me. alot of times in my mind i think He's sitting and waiting for me to mess up, as if He's against me. but i know that's not true. this is the first one i'm going to add to my list;

Psalms 84:11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.

it's kinda funny that timothy brindle quotes this verse in "blessings of obedience" from the killing sin album, and i was planning on looking it up. then while doing a search on purity on desiringgod.org this week, this was a verse that i came up on.
so for now, i think my memory verses will focus a little more on His promises. ok, i have some work to do. i'll be back (you know...said like arnold schwarzenegger)

Thursday, September 07, 2006

new music on the radio blog

Finally!! i've been slacking with this blog as a whole, but the radioblog hasn't had anything new for a hot minute! Some music from Smokie Norful, who i just discovered. well, i've seen his album cover a while back but i was too immersed in my discovery of hhh at the time, lol. then a friend let me listen to his cd and i love what i hear. so technically i didn't discover him, but i digress. hehe. umm, there's a new song from this cat named BDill, check him out on his myspace page. then there's a song from the 116 Clique, one of my fav praise songs. i can't wait to get lecrea's latest, "after the music stops"!! i've heard snippets and i think this will be a cd that will be on heavy rotation once i get it. i love that song "jesus musik". i haven't mentioned it yet, i don't think i have anyway, but i've met some christians here at work and we've been building and we share a love for music. one of my friends loves gospel music and has turned me on to a few artists, Smokie being one of them, so i'm even closer to expanding my musical horizons and changing my music collection. i'm still sooo behind, still haven't picked up the solus christus project by shaii linne, and the great awakening by timothy brindle and why hiphop 2k6. and now cross movement has chronicles greatest hits vol.1 out, and i still haven't gotten metamorphasis by j.r. after hearing some tedashi i think i could possibly like his cd kingdom people too, and Trip Lee's project if they only knew, i like his flow. hmmm...let's see...then there's r-swifts' album, revolutionary theme musik, and stephen the levite's new solo joint, to die is gain, which i have a feeling will have some meaty stuff on it. oohh, there's more but right now, those are on the top of my list. then i'll have to pick up some gospel cd's...i'll list those another time.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

What do You See?



i love this song, and seeing someone made a video to go with it....love it. Powerful song and the video just adds to it. i haven't seen the movie yet (gasp...i know) but i do planning on seeing it. this was hard to watch though but it's something we as believers should consider and remember.

a brief summer update

the summer is almost over and it was a pretty good summer. we didn't spend any time at the cape this summer like previous summers. i haven't spoken to my friend that runs the hotel we stay at which is unlike us. i haven't spoken to him all summer. i need to contact him to say what's up. i noticed he hasn't been calling since about january and for awhile i got that weird feeling like there was a reason. but i've seen him since then and everything seemed to be cool. but i need to reach out and make sure everything is cool.

my wife and i kept pretty busy and going to the cape may have been more of a hassle at times. with gas prices being as high as they are and us struggling financially it would have hurt us more than anything. especially since she ended up getting fired from her first nursing position after graduating. it's a long story and it wasn't a just firing. she could've easily sued since it was due to some medical issues she was having that caused her to miss some work. she disclosed this to her supervisor and didn't get a warning or anything. she had to ask if she was being fired!! she had worked for this hospital for 4 yrs as a nurse's aid, worked during her pregancy and even did double-shifts during her pregnancy. but it all worked out because we had company for most of august into july.

my dad came up and stayed with us for two weeks and then my sister came up the day after he left and stayed for ten days. if she was working she wouldn't have gotten to spend any time with either of them, and they might not have gotten to spend too much time with junior, the main reason they came to visit. it was the first time my dad was meeting his grandson and the second time my sister was seeing her nephew since he was born. so july was pretty booked up for us. my wife got a job at a higher pay rate at a different hospital and she loves the job. also it's a faith based hospital that refuses to do abortions and offers spiritual couseling which she is happy about. when she was at the other job she used to offer to pray for or with patients and most people were receptive to it. anyway she's happier here now and it's all worked out, she says getting fired was the best thing to happen. we've also had some other things going on, medical issues with her that i may get into another time.

working out has been going well, and i'll be joining the local Gold's gym which i'm pretty excited about. for the first time ever i worked out for a full year and i've definetly made some gains. except for taking a week or two off here and there either due to illness or just needing rest i was very consistent. and i've done pretty good with the nutrition side of it too. i put on some unwanted fat but since working out at Gold's i've been able to drop some of it without sacrificing lean body mass. i've been working out at Gold's for the past two weeks, they had a special going where anyone could work out there for a month for free.

it's just about lunch time for me, i'll post some more later, if not today, hopefully tomorrow. my walk has still been a struggle for me, maybe i can put some of into writing. meanwhile, check it - i loved this comic book character when i was into comic books for a brief moment in time and low behold...it's me! lol

Dedicated to Me

You lightly broke your solemn vows to me,yet I will keep the pledge I made to you when you were young.I will establish an everlasting covenant with you forever.Ezekiel 16: 59-60 TLB

I see myself in that verse of scripture. The day that I followed my Dad to the front of the First Christian Church of Poteau, Oklahoma and gave my heart to Jesus, I entered into a "solemn vow" with Him. Numerous times since that day I have, with tears and sincere regret, renewed that solemn vow—only to "lightly break that vow" again in a time of frustration, anger, self-protection, weariness, or doubt.
But the Person with whom I made that agreement when I was twelve years old says, "It's all right, Anabel. I'm not going to back out of the covenant we made. I'm going to keep all of My promises to you. We're different—You and me. You can trust Me, dear one. I won't break the vows I made with you."
You know, I've counseled a lot of married people. Sometimes one of the twosome is trying—everything possible—to make the marriage work, to make it the beautiful relationship that God created it to be. But for that to happen, both of them have to commit themselves to trying to make their union something special, and then beauty begins to come. Then love is renewed. Then the relationship becomes all that it is supposed to be.
In my covenant with the Lord, He is doing His very best to make our relationship all that He longs for it to be. I'm the one putting sand in the gears. I'm the one who is chasing other ways for fulfillment and I confess, "It's me, Lord. And I am so sorry."
As recently as yesterday I went to the front of the Church at the invitation of the pastor to pray. How sweet it was to be there—as close to prostrate as I dared to get in front of everyone who might have been looking. Once again I declared my love by this overt action, and my commitment as a Believer; I was acknowledging His authority and His majesty by kneeling and once again I renewed my solemn vow.
Thank You for being the Person of integrity that You are. Your love, your faithfulness, your dedication to me are absolutely marvelous!
Your steadfast love, O Lord, is as great as all the heavens.(That's beyond our ability to grasp, isn't it?)Your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds.(Beyond the clouds? No way can I imagine that.)Your justice is as solid as God's mountains.(I have never analyzed the "solidness" of a mountain, have you?)Your decisions are as full of wisdom as the oceans are with water.(Quite a comparison, isn't it?)You are concerned for men and animals alike.How precious is Your constant love, O God!Psalm 36: 5-7 (TLB)
What seems to be a minor infraction to me—lightly breaking the solemn vow I made with You—is a very major infraction with You. Help me to see that, Lord.

- Wednesday, September 6, 2006 by Anabel Gillham

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