consistency

well my new friend told me she has definetly been blessed by the music i passed on to her. i'm very glad to hear that. i'm pretty serious about my cd's when i make them. there's usually a theme or a message behind the music i put together. or it's geared toward's the person i'm making the cd for. i made a second cd for her and she really enjoys that one also and it got her excited about her faith. music is so powerful and i don't think people truly understand that sometimes. my mother said that when she passed she hoped her portion of heaven would be filled with music, she loved music. she passed that love on to us. other than a few emails i've kept my distance. its best that way, especially with single women who are looking for a good man. i could just see and get that vibe that it was the best thing to do. and i think she knows that too.

haven't been to church in a minute and i'm missing the community. also missing the lessons learned and hearing God's word. i've been slack in all aspects of my relationship with God lately. work's got me down. but the desire is still there. i just have to make the time. no excuses here tho, it is what it is. its difficult at times when you don't have anyone to share your excitement for the Word with. or to throw questions at. my wife and i share, but we're at different levels. although i think i'm gonna suggest us doing devotions together. even just one night a week. we need it i'm sure.

i also think i've found out something about myself that i struggle with. its something i've noticed before but its really come to light lately. i find something i'm interested in and i get into it in a real DEEP way then fall off of it. i'm trying not to do that with my relationship with God. lately i've been into bodybuilding. its something i've always been into and i used to have CRATES of bodybuilding magazines. but with the advant of the internet and more and more people using it, i can go on and find tons of info. and as i've matured i've come to understanding that its not just lifting weights, but its nutrition also and that nutrition is the key really. the amount of info on nutriton and exercises and routines is mind boggling. understanding how the body handles food and then breaking those foods down to their macronutrients, understanding how to use proteins, carbs and fats to your advantage. let's not forget calories, your bmi, bmr and on and on. but my point is that's been my "obsession" lateley. its something i want to do and have since i was like 8-10 yrs old and now i'm pursuing it. but i'd get into something else, like basketball and wouldn't hit the gym for months.

i did the same thing when i started reading blogs. i wanted to create one and spent hours looking at and learning how to create templates, tweak templates and make templates look the way i wanted. for awhile i was the same with God. reading the bible, reading about the bible, reading discussions about different aspects of the Christian walk. i was listening to messages, researching, studying, having discussions with others and living the life. now that i've gotten so into bodybuilding, i haven't been so into blogging or reading my bible. i need to find a good balance. i don't feel like i've just dropped God. i still pray, i still do devotions, just not with fervor i was at before. again, i just need to find a good balance. hopefully me and the wife will find a good day for us to have devotions together and stick to it, we'll get back to going to church on a more regular basis and i can get back on track with my relationship with God.

how do you do it? how does one stay consistent with their relationship with God? sometimes it seems like so many other people are doing it. when i first became a Christian i wanted God to speak with an audible voice to me. i was "jealous" of those in the bible He spoke to. i couldn't understand why He still doesn't do that. i wonder if that would make being consistent with Him easier. we have relationships with friends and family and when we wonder how they're doing we can call or write or send a message somehow to find out. when we pray to God we don't hear that definite audible answer. now i'm not trying to be someone who requires a miracle to believe, just wondering how to keep up with Him. maybe i'm babbling, but i know what i mean. i'm just looking for something deeper than i feel have right now. eh...gotta get back to work. more later...how much later i dunno...lol.