i'm goin back to cali, back to cali

i met with my manager yesterday and was informed that i'm heading back to the site i was at previous to this one. bleaahk! much bigger site, office politics and it can be quite the busy site. and stressful. i've changed alot since i worked there. it was just one year ago. i know a year ago, i woulda been heated about the decision to send me back, probably woulda taken it more personal. but God is working in me. so the attitude about alot of things have changed, its pretty amazing and catches me off guard when i notice my reaction to alot of things now. deep down inside i can feel the change of my heart.

the main thing i'm dissapointed with is that i'm not gonna be able to have my "breakfast with the Lord". for the past few months i've been having devotions in the morning at work. for awhile it wasn't every morning then it just turned into an every morning thing. something i really wanted to do. just about every morning i was getting to work hungry by the time i got in, so i'd get my tea and bagel or whatever each morning and do my devotions. sometimes it would turn into a couple of hours of looking up scripture, or reading on a specific topic and reading the scriptures that went along with that topic. i won't be able to do that now. no private office. so i'm gonna miss what i called my breakfast with God...getting fed with His spiritual food.

i'll be in a larger office with three other guys. i don't know one of them, but the other guys are not Christians. i won't be able to play my music like i was before. and the enviroment itself is just not that great. my wife was encouraging and said God will find away for us to continue meeting. i hope so. my response was "its me i don't trust". there'll be different guys there now then when i left, but the language is usually pretty coarse there. and that means i'm gonna be surrounded by alot more worldliness and Jesus's name is only used in profanity. in my office i was able to sit and do searches on Christian music and concentrate more on my relationship with God. sometimes listening to sermons, reading other Christian blogs, online magazines, anything that had to with the Lord, just discovering God. i'm actually feeling very saddened by it at the moment. i'm trusting that this is what He wants. its not permanent, but i need to do my part to make sure i'm not there too long. the sup says it for training purposes and so i can get my certification. we'll see, time will tell.

i'm still very interested in being a personal trainer. we met with some friends the other nite that i used to work with at another company and i brought up that this field wasn't my passion. we talked about what i think i'd like to do and one of them sent me links on getting certified as a personal trainer. i've looked it up before so i kinda knew what i need to do, but it was very sweet
of her. maybe it's time to really consider moving on, i'm just waiting for wifey to finish nursing school and start working before i make that kinda financial commitment. but like i said, we'll see.