this week has still been pretty rough but i feel better today. and compared to yesterday, its like i was so low yesterday that feeling so much better today doesn't seem logical. i can't explain why i do. prayer is a wonderful thing. "what a friend we have in Jesus - what a privilege to carry every thing to God in prayer". yesterday i was ready to cry, felt so overwhelmed with life, mostly money, but life just seemed to be too much. from the time i got up i didn't even want to come in to work, it took alot for me to not just stay home. i felt like being a "no call now show" and just let the cards fall where they may. i was in a bad mood too, angry, and i don't hide that well. but like i said, prayer is a wonderful thing. do i still have the same concerns? yes. but they're not weighing on me like yesterday, not now anyway.

i still desire God, still desire to be a "better" Christian and when i read from ybmt, i get encouraged. freedom in Christ, it doesn't make sense to alot of people. christianity does seem to have a lot of do's and don'ts, but when you really seek Him, you see that the freedom is freedom from all that's wrong in this life. it's freedom from that inner man who wants to do his own thing, who thinks he knows better than God. thinks he can make it on his own. and the funny thing is we can't even breath on our own, yeah we might understand how it is we breath and that oxygen is necessary, but we really have no control over it. but that subject will lead to a tangent, lol so i'll stop there. another encouraging read is say what now?. just discovered him today through ybmt. God is good y'all. (not that anyone is reading this, hopefully in the near future). but if anyone is reading this, God is good, beyond our full understanding, but i challenge anyone to seek Him out. you'll be challenged like never before.